Entries by Amy Currul

Central Park Defends Its Dry Spell

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I haven’t really felt in the mood these days. It’s embarrassing, but to be perfectly honest, with the election coming up and everything, I’ve been so stressed out it’s affecting my….performance. I haven’t been able to muster up significant cloud coverage, never mind generate any actual precipitation. It’s been so long I’m pretty sure the next time I encounter a shift in wind speed, what should be a little drizzle is instead going to result in a brief but intense downpour. It’s not you, it’s me and too much built up atmospheric pressure.

Ding Dong, The Bigot Is Dead

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DOROTHY: Okay, well, normally I would feel terrible about this, my house landing on someone and all. But it sounds like he was a bad person right? So him dying is a good thing? GAY-LINDA: It’s a great thing! It’s a Pride miracle!

We At HBOMax Have Decided To Cancel Earth

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We here at HBO Max are proud to be home to some of your previously favorite now cancelled programs such as Love Life, Minx, and the first season of Westworld. And like all of our cancelled programs, Earth will be wiped off of all platforms, anything where its existence could be recorded or remembered.

How Fictional Nurses Would Administer the COVID-19 Vaccine

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Cartoon Nurse from The Animaniacs: She insists that you remain professional and direct with your patients, especially the dog-like ones that make inappropriate comments like, “Helloooooo nurse.” After one too many incidents, she recommends against vaccinating patients that resemble dogs, or any non-human animal for that matter. Vaccine supply is short as it is, and when you stick them with the shot, their heads rapidly expand and they uncontrollably shout, “Awwooooooga!”