Elon Musk’s Proposed Fee Schedule for X (formerly Twitter)

Elon Musk, the world’s richest rich person, in his attempts to stop the cash hemorrhage that is the site formerly known as Twitter, is once again floating a plan to institute fees for all tweeters, er, I mean, X-ers (???) to pay to use the site.  Sure, it’s easy to dismiss the ideal flat out without seeing what the fees will look like.  So, here’s what the fees will look like so you can dismiss them.

Per Post– .001

Per Re-post- .002

Per Musk Re-Post– free

Semantic Posts– 1.00 (because, you know they can afford it)

Anti-Semantic Posts– .00001

Astute observation fee– 1.00

Rambling psychotic take fee– .01

Reposting someone else’s post as your own– .00002

Posting meme fee– .25

Stealing memes fee– 5.00

Bot detection fee– 1.00 per day

Bots usage fee- .0001 one-time fee

Free speech fee– 100.00

Parody fee– ditto

Low usage fee– 1.00 per day

Account delete fee (the Flee Fee) – 100.00

Block Elon fee– You can’t afford it

Plus two (2) drink minimum & cover charge.

Fees payable with credit or debit cards, PayPal, or blood diamonds.