Your emotional expressions are now limited to a curated set of emojis.
Your brain chip constantly receives software updates including ones that suddenly give you a South African accent.
You discover that your brain is mining Dogecoin while you sleep.
You no longer dismiss conspiracy theories and baseless claims and instead share them with anyone who will listen, especially Joe Rogan.
Ads for affordable quality golf balls and copper mine drilling rights interrupt your profound moments of introspection.
You’ve changed all your streaming service passwords so your friends in the Ukraine can no longer binge on Netflix.
You’re compelled to delete “Union of the Snake” by Duran Duran, “Union Forever” by The White Stripes, and “Union Sundown” by Bob Dylan from all your playlists.
You physically attack the ref at your child’s little league game because you’ve developed a sudden dislike for “whistleblowers”.
You feel a sudden urge to pay for that blue checkmark on X/Twitter.
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
J.K. Radomski is a Canadian freelance writer whose words have appeared in newspapers such as The Seattle Post-Intelligencer and The Rocky Mountain News, as well as a number of magazines and trade publications like The Hollywood Reporter. He enjoys one-hit-wonders from the ‘80s, binge watches a lot of TV, drinks Lagavulin, and contemplates the lives of pygmy marmosets in his spare time. Follow him on Twitter @tvwriter