Cooking Shows Now 

Cooking shows then: 

Hello, everyone. I’m a lovable person who is good at cooking here to show you how to prepare this dish at home.

Cooking shows now: 

Welcome to Prego-saurus Tex (Mex), the show where pregnant Texan women battle each other to create their wacky pregnancy cravings. The twist? Their elbows are glued to their sides so it’s like they have weally smol arms like a T-Rex. Tune in to see who will go extinct!

---

Cooking shows then: 

Here’s this trustworthy and delightfully plump woman who lives on a prairie. She’s gonna show you this foolproof way to roast a whole bird. Happy dinner party!!

Cooking shows now: 

Ok so it’s peak heat wave on a jet-black asphalt parking lot. Contestants are shredding potatoes, they’re forming them into pancakes, they’re slapping them on the sizzling-hot concrete for that smokey, wet-gravel aftertaste everyone loves. Yup, you guessed it! It’s Bubba’s Parking Lot-ke Griddle-Off. Winner gets to hug Bubba for several seconds.

---

Cooking shows then: 

The world’s best up-and-coming chefs from Michelin star restaurants are all here to prepare fine dishes in a competition to win money or a special knife or something.

Cooking shows now: 

It’s time for Billionaire Bite-Down. Teams of 4 band together to capture a billionaire from their estate and roast them alive on a spit in an ancient ritual to save the middle class. Once our guest judges from DSA decide who achieved the best char, the members of the winning team will go head-to-head hunger games-style for a chance to win EBT snap benefits for their family for a whole year.

---

Cooking shows then: 

Woah, now. Here’s this cool guy with spikey hair who travels around our great nation’s cities trying the best bites from locally-owned establishments.

Cooking shows now: 

What’s in your face? Hi, I’m LA’s #1 plastic surgeon to the stars and THIS is Filler Up and Keep ‘Em Comin’! The show where I find out which are the absolute best sauces to use as cheek and lip filler for my clients. No seriously! What is in your face?!

---

Cooking shows then: 

You know this guy from restaurants and stuff but now here he is in a different part of the world trying all kinds of foods and having new cultural experiences.

Cooking shows now: 

All aboard for an all-new episode of Tray Table for 2. Air-traveling married couples on the brink of divorce who don’t even sit together anymore must use ONLY the complimentary in-flight snacks to whip up something exquisite for the pilots, all from the close quarters of the rear bathroom. If the pilots don’t like a dish, emergency landing in Scottsdale. Winning couple gets $5,000 towards a divorce lawyer, losers must stay together.

---

Cooking shows then: 

This one’s just for bakers, so you’ll like it if you have a sweet tooth.

Cooking shows now: 

Wake up to the movement. The Meat-Too Movement: Ultimate Jerky-Off. Yep, your favorite canceled celebrities guilty of sexual misconduct are headed to the Meatpacking District to whip it out— their butcher knife, that is! The winner with the meat who beat the rest will not only be crowned Biggest Jerk-Off, but move on to our fishing challenge for the chance to win the prestigious title of Master Baiter.