Dentist Accidentally Extracts Man’s Face
BISMARCK, North Dakota – Len Wheaton went to the dentist expecting no more than a routine extraction, a procedure he had undergone many times before, … but this time was to be different. Very different.
Wheaton’s trouble all started when he woke up one morning with his head swollen to three times it’s normal size. The cause seemed to be a tooth, but he couldn’t be sure.
Alone on an isolated farm, he ran down to the barn, grabbed a wrench and tried to extract what he thought was the offending tooth, which only seemed to make the problem worse.
“ My hand was shakin’ so bad, I had to put my head into a vise, to hold it steady, and keep it from movin’ around, so as I could try and pull the darn thing”, said Wheaton.
Dr. Harold Glantz was just about to leave for the day when he heard a loud commotion from his waiting room. “It was the strangest sound I ever heard”, said Glantz. “ Basically inhuman. I hope I never hear anything like that again. “
Wheaton had managed to drive himself to the dentist’s office forty miles from his home. His head had swollen to approximately six times it’s normal size by this time, and he was bellowing in pain.
Glantz took what’s known as a Panorex type X-ray, a film that shows the entire head in one picture.
Upon examining the X-ray, the dentist got the shock of his professional life. “Somehow”, Glantz explained, “Wheaton’s head became so swollen that his face had come loose, and during the course of the extraction, he inadvertently removed the man’s face as well.
In a panic, he tried to cement it back on, but it was quick setting cement, and it didn’t go on straight.
Wheaton claims he now has to smile from somewhere under his chin. He also claims to have suffered intense humiliation and is suing for loss of face.
Jeffrey’s a comic and comedy writer who’s written for comedy legends such as Rodney Dangerfield, Joan Rivers, George Wallace, Phil Hartman, Richard Belzer, and Andrew “Dice” Clay, among many others. Jeffrey has performed stand-up at most of the big clubs in NY and L.A. and is known for being a regular on-air personality on Sirius XM’s Bennington Show. He writes a weekly column covering the comedy scene for The Interrobang called “Jumping Around with Jeffrey Gurian”, and has also written for MTV, National Lampoon, and many Friars Roasts. His Comedy Matters TV channel boasts over 450 video interviews with A-listers like Jimmy Fallon, Jim Carrey, Amy Poehler, Amy Schumer and even women NOT named Amy. His crowning achievement was getting his own column in the legendary Weekly World News called “ Gurian’s World of the Bizarre” which led to the creation of GNN (Gurian News Network) bringing you the most unusual stories in The Universe, missed by mainstream media.