Famous Poems Reworked Into Advertising Copy 

“Fire and Ice” by Robert Frost: 

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I’ve tasted of desire,

It’ll be in the fact that the Popeyes’ Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit

Is only available only till April 30th.

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“Sonnet 18” by William Shakespeare: 

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Or thy current insurance premium to that of what

The General can offer?

---

“Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver: 

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting,

When you could drive the 2026 Subaru Forester,

With available all-wheel-drive and 0.9% APR for 36 months.

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“All that is gold does not glitter” by J.R.R. Tolkien: 

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Visit your local Ace Hardware for unbeatable costs.

---

“Ozymandias” by Percy Bysshe Shelley: 

My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:

Look on my works, which I swiftly completed using Microsoft Office 365, And despair!

---

“Phenomenal Woman” by Maya Angelou: 

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size

But when I start to tell them,

It’s my Crocs,

They think I’m telling lies.

---

“Harlem” by Langston Hughes: 

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

Like a raisin in the sun?

Or

Does it grow?

The way a degree from

The University of Phoenix would help it to do so?

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“Because I could not stop for Death” by Emily Dickinson: 

Because I could not stop for Death —

He kindly stopped for me —

The Carriage held but just Ourselves —

And my tough yet compact Yeti Tundra hard cooler.

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“Invictus” by William Ernest Henley: 

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I trust Lockheed Martin with all my defense contracting needs.

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“If” by Rudyard Kipling: 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: ‘¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!’