How NFL Teams Got Their Names

Baltimore Ravens

The team is named after Baltimoreon Edgar Allan Poe’s masterpiece “The Raven,” with the famous line: Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

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Denver Broncos

The team is named after Denverite Shmedgar Shmallan Shmoe’s masterpiece “The Bronco,” with the famous line: Quoth the Bronco “Neigh-vermore.”

 

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Green Bay Packers

The team is named after Wisconsinite Eddie Allie Oh’s masterpiece “The Packer,” with the famous line: Quoth the Packer “No-vermore.”

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New York Giants

The team is named after New Yorker Elmer Alvin Doe’s masterpiece “The Giant,” with the famous line: Quoth the Giant “Nah-vermore.”

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Miami Dolphins

The team is named after Miamian Edmund Albert Pro’s masterpiece “The Dolphin,” with the famous line: Quoth the Dolphin “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

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Dallas Cowboys

The team is named after Dallasite Esther Alfred Poad’s masterpiece “The Cowboy,” with the famous line: Quoth the Cowboy “Nuh-uh-vermore.”

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Indianapolis Colts

The team is named after Hoosier Edenezer Allison Peaugh’s masterpiece “The Colt,” with the famous line: Quoth the Colt “Pbbbbbbbbbbbt.”

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Los Angeles Chargers

The team is named after South Angeleno Edgar “Ed” Edgar’s masterpiece “The Charger,” with the famous line: Quoth the Charger “Nopevermore.”

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Arizona Cardinals

The team is named after Arizonian Allan Allan Allan’s masterpiece “The Cardinal,” with the famous line: Quoth the Cardinal “Cheep-eep…cheep-eep…cheepep-cheepep-cheepep-cheepep.”

 

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New England Patriots

The team is named after Yankee Poe “Po-Po” Poe’s masterpiece “The Patriot,” with the famous line: Quoth the Patriot “Nadavermore.”

 

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Philadelphia Eagles

The team is named after Philadelphian Edgar Algar Poegar’s masterpiece “The Eagle,” with the famous line: Quoth the Eagle “SKEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIICH.”

 

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Kansas City Chiefs

The team is named after Kansas Citian Ellen Allan Pollen’s masterpiece “The Chief,” with the famous line: Quoth the Chief “Nunyavermore.”

 

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Seattle Seahawks

The team is named after Seattleite Edoe Aloe Poe’s masterpiece “The Seahawk,” with the famous line: Quoth the Seahawk “SCRAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEECH.”

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Houston Texans

The team is named after Texan Ragde Nalla Eop’s masterpiece “The Texan,” with the famous line: Quoth the Texan “Not now and never again, I reckon.”

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Atlanta Falcons

The team is named after Atlantian Edga Rallanp Oe’s masterpiece “The Falcon,” with the famous line: Quoth the Falcon “KREEEEEEEP? KEEEEP, KEEEEP, KEEEEP!”

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Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The team is named after Tampan Edgara Lla N’poe’s masterpiece “The Buccaneer,” with the famous line: Quoth the Buccaneer “No ho ho and a bottle of none-vermore.”

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Cincinnati Bengals

The team is named after Cincinnatian Eh Ah Oh’s masterpiece “The Bengal,” with the famous line: Quoth the Bengal “rrrrrRRRRAHHHH, ROOoooooo. rrRRRAAAwww, RHOooooo. rrRRRAAHHH, ROOOOOOHHH!!”

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Minnesota Vikings

The team is named after Minnesotan Tic Tac Toe’s masterpiece “The Viking,” with the famous line: Quoth the Viking “(unintelligible).”

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Chicago Bears

The team is named after Chicagoan Acre I’ll Mow‘s masterpiece “The Bear,” with the famous line: Quoth the Bear “GRRRRUUHHHOOOOHA. GRRHUUUUM? GRUUUHHH! GRAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”

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Las Vegas Raiders

The team is named after Las Vegan Igor Isle Hippo’s masterpiece “The Raider,” with the famous line: Quoth the Raider “Ne’ermore.”

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Buffalo Bills

The team is named after Bufallonian Cheddar A La Mode’s masterpiece “The Bill,” with the famous line: Quoth the Bill “MMRAAAAHUA MRHaaaaa. MRUHHH. MRUHM. MRAAAAAAAUHMMMMmmm. MREOHWM, mruhhh…”

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Pittsburgh Steelers

The team is named after Pennsylvanian Headbutt Allyer Foes’s masterpiece “The Steeler,” with the famous line: Quoth the Steeler “Nevertheless, neverthemore.”

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Detroit Lions

The team is named after Detroiter Westward Ishall Go’s masterpiece “The Lion,” with the famous line: Quoth the Lion “rrrrRRRRumRUahhhh. RUmruhaaaa. RMROOAHHHHH!!! ROARAHOOORAH!!!”

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New Orleans Saints

The team is named after New Orleanian Edgar Allans Poemtheraven’s masterpiece “The Saint,” with the famous line: Quoth the Saint “The opposite of evermore.”

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Carolina Panthers

The team is named after Carolinian Waspublished Ineighteen Fortyfive’s masterpiece “The Panthers,” with the famous line: Quoth the Panther “GRHRHRHrhrhrhrhrhrhrhrhrhr. grhrhrhrhrhrhrhrhrh…GRHRHRHRHRHrhrhrhrhrh…rhrhrhrhrhrhrhrRRRAAAWOWOOOWAWOOOooo! RAWOO, RAWOO RAHWL!!!!”

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Tennessee Titans

The team is named after Tennessean Itgainedacclaim Immediatelyafter Helpingthewriterscareer’s masterpiece “The Titan,” with the famous line: Quoth the Titan “That’s gonna be a nevermore for me, thanks though.”

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Los Angeles Rams

The team is named after Northern Angeleno Readersofthe Timewerebaffledand Didntknowwhattomakeofit’s masterpiece “The Rams,” with the famous line: Quoth the Ram “BRAHAHAHA…BRAHAHAHA…BRHAHAHA…BRAHAHAHAH…BRAHAHAHAHAH…BRHAHAHAHAHAHAH.”

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Washington Commanders

The team was named after a poem by Washingtonian Nowthepoem Isreprintedyearly Andtaughtinschools which has a title–and quote–we do not wish to repeat. The team was renamed The Washington Commanders in 2022.

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Jacksonville Jaguars

The team is named after Jaxon Criticsof Todayconsidertheraven Tobewithoutadoubt’s masterpiece “The Jaguar,” with the famous line: Quoth the Jaguar “Puuurrrrrrrrrr. RAWOOOOOOOaaaWOOO. PRRRRRRRR RAWaaaAOHHHH!”

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San Francisco 49ers

The team is named after San Franciscan Edcellent Allstanding Poeautiful’s masterpiece “The 49er,” with the famous line: Quoth the 49er “Nevermore, I say to you once and then another 48 times!”

 

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New York Jets

The team is named after New Jerseyan Edstroardinary Allceptional Poenificent’s masterpiece “The Jet,” with the famous line: Quoth the Jet “sssssssssssssSSSSHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMmmmmmmmmm.”

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Cleveland Browns

The team is named after Ohioan Edgarallanpoe Allanedgarpoe Poeedgarallan’s masterpiece “The Brown,” with the famous line: Quoth the Brown “BRAAAPPPPPPP. BLAAAARRRRPPP. FLUMPPPPHHHH. Toot.”