How NFL Teams Got Their Names
Baltimore Ravens
The team is named after Baltimoreon Edgar Allan Poe’s masterpiece “The Raven,” with the famous line: Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”
Denver Broncos
The team is named after Denverite Shmedgar Shmallan Shmoe’s masterpiece “The Bronco,” with the famous line: Quoth the Bronco “Neigh-vermore.”
Green Bay Packers
The team is named after Wisconsinite Eddie Allie Oh’s masterpiece “The Packer,” with the famous line: Quoth the Packer “No-vermore.”
New York Giants
The team is named after New Yorker Elmer Alvin Doe’s masterpiece “The Giant,” with the famous line: Quoth the Giant “Nah-vermore.”
Miami Dolphins
The team is named after Miamian Edmund Albert Pro’s masterpiece “The Dolphin,” with the famous line: Quoth the Dolphin “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
Dallas Cowboys
The team is named after Dallasite Esther Alfred Poad’s masterpiece “The Cowboy,” with the famous line: Quoth the Cowboy “Nuh-uh-vermore.”
Indianapolis Colts
The team is named after Hoosier Edenezer Allison Peaugh’s masterpiece “The Colt,” with the famous line: Quoth the Colt “Pbbbbbbbbbbbt.”
Los Angeles Chargers
The team is named after South Angeleno Edgar “Ed” Edgar’s masterpiece “The Charger,” with the famous line: Quoth the Charger “Nopevermore.”
Arizona Cardinals
The team is named after Arizonian Allan Allan Allan’s masterpiece “The Cardinal,” with the famous line: Quoth the Cardinal “Cheep-eep…cheep-eep…cheepep-cheepep-cheepep-cheepep.”
New England Patriots
The team is named after Yankee Poe “Po-Po” Poe’s masterpiece “The Patriot,” with the famous line: Quoth the Patriot “Nadavermore.”
Philadelphia Eagles
The team is named after Philadelphian Edgar Algar Poegar’s masterpiece “The Eagle,” with the famous line: Quoth the Eagle “SKEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIICH.”
Kansas City Chiefs
The team is named after Kansas Citian Ellen Allan Pollen’s masterpiece “The Chief,” with the famous line: Quoth the Chief “Nunyavermore.”
Seattle Seahawks
The team is named after Seattleite Edoe Aloe Poe’s masterpiece “The Seahawk,” with the famous line: Quoth the Seahawk “SCRAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEECH.”
Houston Texans
The team is named after Texan Ragde Nalla Eop’s masterpiece “The Texan,” with the famous line: Quoth the Texan “Not now and never again, I reckon.”
Atlanta Falcons
The team is named after Atlantian Edga Rallanp Oe’s masterpiece “The Falcon,” with the famous line: Quoth the Falcon “KREEEEEEEP? KEEEEP, KEEEEP, KEEEEP!”
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The team is named after Tampan Edgara Lla N’poe’s masterpiece “The Buccaneer,” with the famous line: Quoth the Buccaneer “No ho ho and a bottle of none-vermore.”
Cincinnati Bengals
The team is named after Cincinnatian Eh Ah Oh’s masterpiece “The Bengal,” with the famous line: Quoth the Bengal “rrrrrRRRRAHHHH, ROOoooooo. rrRRRAAAwww, RHOooooo. rrRRRAAHHH, ROOOOOOHHH!!”
Minnesota Vikings
The team is named after Minnesotan Tic Tac Toe’s masterpiece “The Viking,” with the famous line: Quoth the Viking “(unintelligible).”
Chicago Bears
The team is named after Chicagoan Acre I’ll Mow‘s masterpiece “The Bear,” with the famous line: Quoth the Bear “GRRRRUUHHHOOOOHA. GRRHUUUUM? GRUUUHHH! GRAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”
Las Vegas Raiders
The team is named after Las Vegan Igor Isle Hippo’s masterpiece “The Raider,” with the famous line: Quoth the Raider “Ne’ermore.”
Buffalo Bills
The team is named after Bufallonian Cheddar A La Mode’s masterpiece “The Bill,” with the famous line: Quoth the Bill “MMRAAAAHUA MRHaaaaa. MRUHHH. MRUHM. MRAAAAAAAUHMMMMmmm. MREOHWM, mruhhh…”
Pittsburgh Steelers
The team is named after Pennsylvanian Headbutt Allyer Foes’s masterpiece “The Steeler,” with the famous line: Quoth the Steeler “Nevertheless, neverthemore.”
Detroit Lions
The team is named after Detroiter Westward Ishall Go’s masterpiece “The Lion,” with the famous line: Quoth the Lion “rrrrRRRRumRUahhhh. RUmruhaaaa. RMROOAHHHHH!!! ROARAHOOORAH!!!”
New Orleans Saints
The team is named after New Orleanian Edgar Allans Poemtheraven’s masterpiece “The Saint,” with the famous line: Quoth the Saint “The opposite of evermore.”
Carolina Panthers
The team is named after Carolinian Waspublished Ineighteen Fortyfive’s masterpiece “The Panthers,” with the famous line: Quoth the Panther “GRHRHRHrhrhrhrhrhrhrhrhrhr. grhrhrhrhrhrhrhrhrh…GRHRHRHRHRHrhrhrhrhrh…rhrhrhrhrhrhrhrRRRAAAWOWOOOWAWOOOooo! RAWOO, RAWOO RAHWL!!!!”
Tennessee Titans
The team is named after Tennessean Itgainedacclaim Immediatelyafter Helpingthewriterscareer’s masterpiece “The Titan,” with the famous line: Quoth the Titan “That’s gonna be a nevermore for me, thanks though.”
Los Angeles Rams
The team is named after Northern Angeleno Readersofthe Timewerebaffledand Didntknowwhattomakeofit’s masterpiece “The Rams,” with the famous line: Quoth the Ram “BRAHAHAHA…BRAHAHAHA…BRHAHAHA…BRAHAHAHAH…BRAHAHAHAHAH…BRHAHAHAHAHAHAH.”
Washington Commanders
The team was named after a poem by Washingtonian Nowthepoem Isreprintedyearly Andtaughtinschools which has a title–and quote–we do not wish to repeat. The team was renamed The Washington Commanders in 2022.
Jacksonville Jaguars
The team is named after Jaxon Criticsof Todayconsidertheraven Tobewithoutadoubt’s masterpiece “The Jaguar,” with the famous line: Quoth the Jaguar “Puuurrrrrrrrrr. RAWOOOOOOOaaaWOOO. PRRRRRRRR RAWaaaAOHHHH!”
San Francisco 49ers
The team is named after San Franciscan Edcellent Allstanding Poeautiful’s masterpiece “The 49er,” with the famous line: Quoth the 49er “Nevermore, I say to you once and then another 48 times!”
New York Jets
The team is named after New Jerseyan Edstroardinary Allceptional Poenificent’s masterpiece “The Jet,” with the famous line: Quoth the Jet “sssssssssssssSSSSHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMmmmmmmmmm.”
Cleveland Browns
The team is named after Ohioan Edgarallanpoe Allanedgarpoe Poeedgarallan’s masterpiece “The Brown,” with the famous line: Quoth the Brown “BRAAAPPPPPPP. BLAAAARRRRPPP. FLUMPPPPHHHH. Toot.”
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Robert Criss is a writer from Pittsburgh who writes to save the family farm. You can find his work right above this biography or below depending on where this biography is placed on the page in relation to the work. Follow his instagram @robertcriss
