Infrequently Asked Questions About Easter

Q: What’s the connection between Jesus’s tomb and an egg?
A: Both are empty.

Q: What about the yolk and whites?
A: No, Jesus’s tomb doesn’t have either of those.

Q: What about the yolk and the whites in the egg?
A: See answer to first question.

Q: How is it possible that there is no yolk or whites in the egg?
A: Jesus’s tomb is empty, and so the egg is empty. Besides, the egg is chocolate.

Q: Was Jesus’s tomb chocolate?
A: No, it was stone. Jesus isn’t Willy Wonka. He’s not munching his way out of his tomb to the high-pitched cheers of Oompa-Loompas. This is serious.

Q: So, why is the egg chocolate?
A: Because that’s what the bunny lays.

Q: How did a bunny get involved?
A: The Easter Bunny is the one who births and then hides the chocolate eggs.

Q: Rabbits are viviparous; how does the Easter Bunny lay eggs?
A: It’s a made up animal — it’s not real…

Q: Why not choose an animal that can lay eggs, like a duck, or a turtle, or a platypus?
A: An Easter Duck or an Easter Turtle would have been good. But no one thought of those at the time.

Q: And the platypus?
A: It’s a made up animal — it’s not real…

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide the eggs?
A: The bunny wants the kids to find them and eat them. Then, while on a sugar high, the bunny wants the kids to launch into a full on screaming and fly kick battle about who got the most eggs.

Q: So, the egg is empty, the egg is chocolate, a made up bunny lays the eggs, the kids fight about the eggs, and this is all connected to Jesus’s resurrection?
A: Yes.

Q: What about this caramel filled chocolate egg?
A: Caramel doesn’t count.

Q: Why not?
A: Jesus’s tomb is empty, and so the egg is empty.

Q: To be clear, then, what’s the connection between all of this?
A: Easter