Inventory List Of The FBI’s Raid Of Trump

Season Pass to Jeffrey Epstein’s island.

Schematics from team of scientists hired to create a lab-grown clone combining the DNA of Vladimir Putin and Papa John.

Several dozen cases of condoms made exclusively for Trump, due to particularly small size not produced by condom companies.

Creepy basement shrine to himself.

Computer files containing the secret identity of Q (it’s Tony Danza!!)

Small vial of psoriasis flakes from Hitler’s mustache.

McDonalds’ Grimace life size sex doll, including real ranch dressing dispenser.

Parchment copy of a deal with Lucifer, supplying him with two more years of life in exchange for the lives of his wife, children and grandchildren.

George Washington’s dentures, seemingly used regularly as a bathtub toy.

Trump steaks made of real Trump! (mostly his mother)

Flash drive titled “Bill Cosby’s Favorite Drink Recipes”

Special MyPillow made exclusively for him, comprised of human skin, a confederate flag, and Ivanka’s soiled undergarments.

Constitution Of The United States, seemingly used as a placemat for regular fast-food meals.