Less Obvious Signs That The End Is Nigh…

Grasshoppers suddenly have eyebrows for some reason.

Alyssa Milano discovers cure for cancer, but then forgets the details because she gets distracted by spoilers regarding the next season of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

The dead are returning to life, but are choosing to stay beneath the ground in their coffins.

Lint accumulated from between the toes of professional bowlers is now a highly coveted aphrodisiac.

Your dogs stop licking themselves and watch the national news with you.

Rather than Spin The Bottle, elementary school children now instead play Spin The Bong.

All ranch dressing brands begin to exclusively sell their product contained in enema bags.

PornHub mostly posting security footage of bank employees surreptitiously picking their noses.

In-depth analysis of The Bachelor seasons taught in most junior high schools.

For Sweeps Week, Ellen DeGeneres allows herself to become part of a human centipede, live on camera.