Letters That Dear Abby Stopped Reading After One Sentence
Dear Abby,
As a longtime fan of your column, as well as someone who enjoys the smell of their own flatulence…
Dear Abby,
I am a skin-tag on Tommy Lee Jones’ left thigh that recently gained sentience, and was wondering about the correct etiquette for inviting casual acquaintances to a summer garden party…
Dear Abby,
Being a member of an enlightened, learned group of well-educated people who strongly believe that bestiality should be legalized…
Dear Abby,
Please find enclosed the disemboweled corpse of an owl and a map to the lost city of Atlantis…
Dear Abby,
This might seem like a letter more suited for the pages of Moist Amputee Monthly, but I just felt like I had to share it with you as well…
Dear Abby,
As the owner of a ping-pong ball wholesaler whose place of business happens to be down the street from several popular gentlemen’s clubs, I seem to have no shortage of ethical dilemmas…
Dear Abby,
In order to truly understand the extent of my problem, you will probably first need to read the first two novels in the Twilight series of books…
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
