Examining The Medical Prowess Of Donald Trump: Other Examples Of His Insightful Brilliance

“You can’t catch chicken pox by eating Chicken Nuggets; those red splotches are simply from getting overly enthusiastic with the barbecue dipping sauce.”

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“Using a tanning bed on it’s highest setting for several hours every day is great for you. If it weren’t, why would it make you , or me, look so healthy and photogenic?”

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“Pulling out is a perfectly acceptable method of birth control. And by that I mean, having one of your musclehead goons pull out the heart and liver of the stripper you’ve just had sex with, and then burying her in the desert.”

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“Be sure to take your blood pressure at least twice a day. Don’t make the mistake of asking about the blood pressure results of those that you work with, though. Scary stuff.”

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“You know, no need to wear a mask for this COVID stuff, I’d say. Plenty of time for wearing a mask later, when you’ve been voted out of office and you’re on the run in a series of foreign countries, attempting to disguise your appearance and elude capture from American authorities.”

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“I get a lot of questions about what you should do about athletes’ foot. Here’s what I do: When I catch my wife having intercourse with an athlete, I’ll have one of my guys, and these are big guys, grab the athlete, rough him up a bit, and then cut off one of his feet. And as to what you should do about the athletes foot? I usually force my wife to carry it around in her purse, as a sort of reminder.”

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