Most Affordable Memorial Day Weekend Getaways

Everyone you know is going somewhere this weekend. So if you’re a little tight but still want to do it right, here’s some very affordable – read: free as a takeout menu shoved under a door that never wanted no takeout menu – vacation ideas. Ooooh, yeahhhhh. That’s very nearly relaxing.

Close Your Eyes And Get Whisked Away
Just cover your eyes and voila! You’re in your house, only it’s like you’ve never experienced it before. Because you can’t see $hit. Fumble around, and give thanks to those who let you live this life of freedom.

A True “Staycation”
Put a collar on yourself and sit on your couch. Sit. Siiiiit. Stayyyyyy. Good, human.

Google Maps Europe
You know what they say: if you can’t figure it out, google it. Or in this case, google maps where you’d go if you had your druthers’ frequent flyer miles. C’mon, Druthers! Share!

Go To Mexico – In Your Mouth
Can’t get away? Well, if you can’t be on a sandy beach in Guadalajara, why not let part of you go there with an ice cold cerveza? Mmm mmm. Taste that getaway. And just imagine! You’ll be the hit of the office cooler when a coworker asks later, “Where’d you go this weekend?”
“Mexico.” (In my mouth)
“What was that, you whispered something?”
(Stupid Gary with his stupid perfect hearing.)
“I’m reporting you to HR again.”
(My name’s Gary, I like to report people to HR.)
(Two can play this game!)
“You guys stop whispering over there! Creeping me out. All I wanna do is have one lunch with my private chef, Chef Boyardee. You know how my boy are do!”

Grocery Store At Midnight The Night Before
Want to see the hustle and bustle of the big city and people you know you’ll never see again on God’s green Earth? Well, welcome to the aisles of grocery store shopping at midnight the night before a holiday. It’s an enchanting way of experiencing a culture unlike any you’ve ever seen. The language isn’t English, the clothing is unbelievable, and there’s definitely a party and someone vomiting in the streets.

And, if all else fails…
Your Mom’s House
It’s like a vacation, kinda.