DO NOT REFER TO THOSE WORKING ON WHITE HOUSE LAWN AS “BAD HOMBRES”.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO GRAB CHANCELLOR MERKEL’S PRIVATE PARTS; DO NOT REFER TO HER AS “CHANCELLOR URKEL”.
DO NOT USE TOILET IN BATHROOM FEATURED IN PUBLIC TOURS OF THE WHITE HOUSE; IF UNABLE TO HELP YOURSELF, DO NOT FALL ASLEEP ON TOILET.
DO NOT POST “I TOTALLY HIT THAT” IN COMMENT SECTION OF STORMY DANIELS YOUPORN VIDEOS.
DO NOT REFER TO VICE PRESIDENT PENCE AS “THE ALBINO MO”.
DO NOT STARE UNBLINKINGLY AT YOUR DAUGHTER’S BODY WITHIN VIEW OF THE PUBLIC OR MEDIA.
DO NOT REFER TO THE 2016 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION WIN AS “SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY”.
DO NOT KICK VENDING MACHINE JUST BECAUSE IT DIDN’T GIVE YOU AN EXTRA PAYDAY BAR.
- About the Author
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence