Reactions I Expect When People See My “I Voted” Sticker
“You filled in all the bubbles? Like, every single one?”
“Me too, Comrade. ME too.”
“OH MY GOD, I FORGOT ABOUT ELECTION DAY. Thank you, my savior. Not all heroes wear capes.”
“Did you design that yourself? You’re inspiring AND creative.”
“You are civic-minded. Very civic-minded. The most civic-minded in the world.”
“I only submitted a mail-in ballot. I’m so ashamed.”
“You made the full trek to an elementary school two blocks away, fended off mobs of local parents attempting to sell you Krispy Kreme donuts to fund the 5th grade girls’ basketball team, and got to the polling place. I wouldn’t be surprised if you knocked over an elderly person because you were running late for work. Work? Pfftt. Who cares about work when you have a badass sticker?”
“The American flag really brings out your eyes. They look kind of red right now.”
“I feel horrible for forgetting to grab a sticker when I voted. How humiliating.”
“You’re raising your dog right.”
“Have you immortalized this on Instagram? This is worthy of a grid post, not just a story.”
“You’re going to be an amazing [human] mom someday.”
“Do you also pay taxes? WITHOUT H&R Block? I could believe anything at this point.”
Silent standing ovation.
“Have you thought about running for office, too? You’ve got the rizz.”
“I love you.”
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Laura Berlinsky-Schine is a freelance writer and editor based in Brooklyn with her demigod/lab-mix rescue, Hercules. She has a tattoo of his name. Her satire/humor has appeared in Slackjaw, Points in Case, Little Old Lady Comedy, and more.
