Menu Highlights at Saddam Hussein’s Cheesecake Factory
“What’s with the gold? He’s got the White House looking like Saddam Hussein opened a Cheesecake Factory.”
—Former President Barack Obama on President Trump, while campaigning for Democrats in Cleveland, Ohio
Beverages
Dubya Espresso
Hot Cocoalition of the Willing
Parad-ISIS Punch
DaIRAQuiris
Shock and Aweberry Margarita
Appetizers
Autocratic Egg Rolls
Crispy Crab Bites with Mustard Gas
“Stuffed Happens” Mushrooms
Operation Iraqi FreeDumplings
Breakfast
Egg in a Spider Hole
Baghdad with Cream Cheese
Skinnylicious Croque Saddam
World-Famous Factory Waffles of Mass Confection (*currently unable to find ingredients*)
Salads
Green Zone Salad
Ba’athBQ Ranch Chicken Salad
Now-Watch-This Endive
Entrees
Colin Powerbowl
Miso Accomplished Salmon
Nation-Build-Your-Own Burger
Meatball Sliders on CIAbatta
Axis of Evelyn’s Favorite Pasta
Known Un-gnocchi
Hand-Tossed-Shoe Pizza
Golden Beets with Goldfish-Crusted Yukon Gold Potatoes and 24K Gold Dust
Dessert
Oreo Extremist Dream Cheesecake
Chocolate Marbled Palace Cheesecake
Death by Yellowcake
Sides
Condoleezza Rice
One of the Hardest Parts of My Job Is to Connect Iraq to the War on Terror Coleslaw
Freedom Fries
- About the Author
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Meg Reid is a satirist and humor writer. She is a contributor at The Onion, McSweeney’s and Reductress. You can also find her work in Points in Case, Slackjaw, The Belladonna, and End of the Bench, among other publications. You can find her rants and ramblings on Twitter, Instagram, and Medium.
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Alice Phillips is a Reductress headline contributor with short humor in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Points in Case, and elsewhere. She lives in South Carolina.
