Elevator Pitches for Elevators 

  1. Mandatory eye contact for five seconds to get the awkwardness out of the way
  2. Buttons made of chocolate so riders can get their sugar fix after selecting their floor
  3. Sand to give it a cool beach vibe
  4. Sand crabs and arguing families to give it a more authentic beach vibe
  5. Pigeons
  6. “Elevator Captains” responsible for introducing riders to each other to create a forced sense of community. They’ll wear nautical hats and carry big sticks so people know who’s in charge
  7. Each elevator locks riders inside for ten minutes or until they can solve a series of elaborate puzzles together
  8. Rebranding them as “vertical boxcars”
  9. Stools
  10. Curated cars full of riders who share the same name. “Good morning, Walters.” (in unison) “Walter!”
  11. Owls
  12. Escape hatch to an emptier elevator
  13. Trendier escape hatch to a prohibition-style speakeasy
  14. Emergency phones that connect anonymously to your childhood bully so you can leave them veiled threats
  15. Funhouse mirrors to make riders look thinner to increase their self-confidence
  16. Funhouse mirrors to give riders distorted faces so they don’t get overconfident
  17. Bats
  18. TV monitors with footage of devastating natural disasters so the cramped elevator doesn’t seem so bad in comparison
  19. Words of affirmation read by Tom Hanks
  20. FaceTime calls from everyone’s dads so they can talk to each other about dad stuff (fences, corduroy, what happened on this week’s episode of Yellowstone)
  21. Twister
  22. Naked Twister (18+)
  23. Mojitos (21+)
  24. Non-alcoholic mojitos so everyone can enjoy clinking glasses and saying “cheers” (2+)
  25. Tag