Stephen King’s Past Birthday Wishes

I wish to let go of some story ideas… like the succubus colonoscopy.

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An Oscar category for movies released 38 years ago. Maximum Overdrive wins.

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A pair of those pants that look like jeans but feel like sweatpants

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A single breakfast with Dean Koontz where he doesn’t ask me about what I’m working on and then furiously writes in his notebook

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Updated bivalent Covid booster

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Waterstarter?

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The blinking cursor is now a blinking thumbs-up.

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Tabby finds the casually open catologue page and buys the Maine-shaped cutting board from Uncommon Goods .

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New Book Off Writing deep dishing about my various hobbies like tuning my Ferrinton acoustic guitar and loving the song Mambo #5. (True story)

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I wish to get around to learning Word keyboard shortcuts.

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I wish to make an updated Lawnmower Man movie that’s closer to the short story. Adam Driver eats the grass!

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I wish to ironically use the phrase “Woke Mind Virus” in one of my books.

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Samsung S90C OLED TV,  Samsung HW-Q990C Soundbar, Sony UBP-X700/M Streaming 4K Ultra HD Blu-ray player with HDMI cable.

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I wish for Stephen King night at Fenway Park. Everyone screams during the seventh-inning stretch.

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Execs take my pitch seriously for a real-life Running Man TV show.

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A jet Ski. Wait, no…a possessed jet ski.

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Success for indie bookstores.

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I wish I could go back and put a new chapter in The Langoliers about going through TSA and how horrifying it is to remove your belt and have your pants slip off.

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I wish that A24 would admit that all their horror movies are just “art house King”. I also wish that they would ask me to direct a new version of Maximum Overdrive that no one will make fun of. I decline at first. I hated making the first one. They ask Ari Aster. He calls me for my blessing. I don’t give it to him but instead, I say, “Eh, maybe I will direct it, and this time I won’t be coked up and drinking all day.” I direct the version I always had in my head with Bruce Springsteen as the star. (ALL TRUE)

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A Burger King crown.

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Finish my light rom-com about a small-town vet finding love with a local innkeeper. Fight the urge to make the innkeeper a sin-eating demon.

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I wish for the courage to wake up and write another page.