Posts

Lesser Known Facts About House Speaker Mike Johnson

Truly believes that God sent Donald Trump to lead America, and yet still chooses to be a Christian anyway.

House Resolution: Renaming Donald Trump’s “Transition” Team to Reflect That He Is Biologically President

A “Biological President” is naturally “male,” meaning an individual who has, had, or would have, but for a historical polo accident, the reproductive system that at some point produces, transports, and ejects sperm for exclusively male purposes, such as fertilization or so-called “sexual assault,” which is defined as the legal and victim-less playboy antics of a rogue, rake, or rapscallion.

New Holiday Travel Road Games

Mad Libtards: While stopping for dinner at a Cracker Barrel in the middle of nowhere (there was literally no other place within 50 miles, sue me), how many times and in different ways do the locals use the word “libtard” to describe basic acts of human decency?   Too many to count, get the fuck out of there!!

Letters From The Frontlines Of The War On Christmas

Sweetheart, Went to a Target tonight. I was horrified to learn the nutcrackers have turned gay. Why must these Secularists sexualize everything? Put your nuts in its mouth like the rest of us and enjoy the birth of our Lord. Merry Christmas, Jim

I Have Been Silenced by The Media and I'm Not Going To Shut Up About It

After forty-four years of speaking my mind, the woke mob has finally come for me. Now that my YouTube channel has been demonetized, I’ve been completely muzzled, left only with my few million podcast subscribers, two New York Times bestsellers, and this Substack newsletter. My crime? Saying what the mainstream media doesn’t want you to hear. 

CARTOON: Promises, Promises

Campaign of Contradictions. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Potential Reasons Why People Leave Donald Trump’s Rallies Early: In Order from Most Likely  to Least Likely

Scientifically speaking, a side effect of seeing too many red ‘MAGA,’ hats can lead to nausea and restless asshole syndrome.

CARTOON: Trump's Debate Prep

Repeat, Repeat, Repeat. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

CARTOON: Gotta Get Away?

No Extradition, No Problems. Today's cartoon by Harley Schwadron.

Crazy Larry’s Etsy Shop of Handcrafted Tinfoil Hats

This shop is dedicated to helping regular folks who realize that the war isn’t coming, brother. The war is already here. So, grab your tinfoil and suit up. Semper Foil

Less Catchy Yet More Effective Derivatives of ‘MAGA’ to Lock Up the Election

MSDECA: Make Seats at Drinking Establishments Comfortable Again! The radical owners who run these places, they’re doing horrible—horrible!—things: aluminum stools with no cushions, no backs, no footrests. Stools without any of that or the ability to swivel. You can’t even swivel, folks. Not good.

CARTOON: Project 2025

Dystopian Dialogue. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.

I'd Much Rather Be Called Racist than Weird, So It's Time to Insult the Mixed-Race Vice President

I knew the whole “turn Black” thing was a winner. And demanding that someone “look into” Kamala’s ethnicity? That’s some 2015-era birtherism right there. Tried and true. And viola. We’re back in business, baby.

When Trump Told People They’d Never Have to Vote Again, He Wasn’t Threatening Democracy. He Was Working out Material for a Tight 5 at the Copa

Did Trump say he was going to be “a dictator on day one” only a few months ago? Sure, he did. When he says his opponents are “vermin” who need to be “rooted out,” he’s definitely not echoing fascist rhetoric from Italy and Germany in the 1930s. He’s just testing out his latest Benito Mussolini impression before his residency at the Palm.  

CARTOON: Political Ponderings

Inward Decay vs. Outward Demise. Today's cartoon by Jason Bentsman & Matt Saks.

CARTOON: Office Tails

Heightened Hurdles. Today's cartoon by Catherine Martha Holmes.

Team Trump Online Memes Updates

Godzilla: Hey, when you think about destroying a corrupt town like Washington D.C., what comes to mind quicker than Godzilla?  Imagine Prez Trump’s head over Godzilla’s as he stomps through town screaming “MAGA” or “Sleepy Joe!” (depending on focus group feedback) and we can turn the fleeing populous into members of the Demon-cratic Party (pretty good, right? I just made that up now). I think we can use video from January 6th.  There’s a lot of footage there.

Other Trump Stories Killed By The National Enquirer

Trump Takes Pet Rock To Baseball Game Instead Of Eric, Ranch Dressing Fountains Placed Into Trump Apartment Bathrooms, And more!

Why Are The Trump Jurors Being Excused?

Preferred Schwarzenegger on The Apprentice. Appears to be an actual Christian, rather than a Trump Christian. Elderly man with full head of hair and a naturally healthy complexion. And more!

MAGAts- Your Guide To Trump Loving Right Wing Extremists

Tessie Tickles: Host of the right wing podcast Tessie Gets Messy, which is less a talk show than a series of racist and /or homophobic diatribes.    So kind of like FOX News if it were broadcast from the poorly lit back porch of a lime green trailer. 

Trumper Stickers (Bumper Stickers Commonly Found On The Trucks Of Trump Voters)

"No Fat Chicks, Fat Presidents Are Okay" "Baby With Tattoos On Board" "If The Van Is A'Rockin', Automated Weapons We're A'Glockin'" and more!

CARTOON: Last Night at Mar-A-Lago...

Trump 20-24 years in prison. Today's cartoon by Lars Kenseth.

CARTOON: Woke Up

Quick close your eyes! Today's cartoon by Patrick Hickey.

Select Scenes From The QAnanny Sitcom

QAnanny: Nya-ha-ha-ha-nnha-nnha-hnn-ha-nhee-heee Gross Sheffield: What is that… that noise she’s making? Is that a laugh? Not-So-Brighton Sheffield: I mean… kind of? She’s attempting to use the high-pitched frequency of those noises to short circuit the deep-state hypnotic suggestions that have been hard wired into her brain.

CARTOON: Replacement Theory

Brain, Thinking, Reason, Feeling- Replaced. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

CARTOON: Downhill

Some bad news...Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

We, The Invading Aliens, Would Like To Thank Everyone Who Refused To Protect Themselves From Us

When your scientists discovered that each person we beam aboard our ships allows us to become stronger, the so-called “patriots” dug their heels in and vehemently declined protection. Despite the knowledge that being beamed aboard our ships could result in serious illness, severe probing, or death, they wanted nothing to do with the serum. Even when those we abducted were released back to earth and repented, urging anyone who was not yet protected to get the serum, they said, “I’d rather take my chances with the aliens than your newfangled potions.”

CARTOON: Still?

How about now? Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

CARTOON: MAGA Metals

Logical leaps from "But her emails' to 'mind control 5g chips' Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.

Sorry! These 5 Beloved Children Show Characters Grew Up To Be Republicans 

Caillou from Caillou: Is this one really a surprise? Caillou is entitled, bratty, and viewed as a negative influence on children. It’s no shock that he grew up to become a Republican. He throws temper tantrums to get his way and is never punished for his actions. Caillou definitely stormed the Capitol.

CARTOON: IQAnon Test

And all we see is crazy. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

CARTOON: Read Aloud

Just keep repeating it. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

CARTOON: Never Again

They reboot everything. Today's cartoon by Tom Chitty.

CARTOON: 'Minimum-Effort Precaution' Mask

It's the LEAST you can do- and we do mean the least. Cartoon by Brandon Hicks.

Hallmark Channel Presents: Alt-right Rom-coms!

Carrying a Tiki Torch For You: Small town patriots Kirk and Allie meet while protesting the removal of a Confederate statue and sparks fly—literally, from their flaming tiki torches! Kirk falls fast for Allie, but in order to save the family hardware store, Kirk has already agreed to marry an Harvard-educated lady lawyer who voted for Hillary. Can Kirk find a way to save the store, be with the woman he loves, and maybe even lock up his fiancée?

The New Porns

Unwatched 10 episode-per-season, 7-season series on Netflix Porn, Look at me I’m a celebrity who is getting notoriety for something shameful and disgraceful Porn, and more.

CARTOON: Uncontrollable

Uncontrollably scripted! Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.

Inanimate Objects the GOP Might Nominate for the Mid-Term Congressional Elections

Orange traffic cone, Box set of Ted Nugent CDs and more.

The New York Times Visits the Town That Votes for Donald Trump Again Every Day

And every day, the residents of this small town take a regimented break at noon to head to their local polling place and vote for Donald Trump, a man who is already president...