Select Scenes From The QAnanny Sitcom

QAnanny: Nya-ha-ha-ha-nnha-nnha-hnn-ha-nhee-heee

Gross Sheffield: What is that… that noise she’s making? Is that a laugh?

Not-So-Brighton Sheffield: I mean… kind of? She’s attempting to use the high-pitched frequency of those noises to short circuit the deep-state hypnotic suggestions that have been hard wired into her brain.

Gross: Good grief, that’s insane! What are those deep-state media weasels up to this time? Is Joe Biden telekinetically controlling those murder hornets again?

Not-So-Brighton: You wish! She’s trying to shake loose the media’s lies about Trump losing the 2020 election.

Gross: Ouch! Is it working?

Not-So-Brighton: Well, my brains are certainly beginning to feel mushy.

 

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Pacswell Sheffield: Good Lord, the kitchen is a complete wreck! What exactly are you doing in here??

QAnanny: I’d been really craving a pizza all day! I just realized that I’ve never made a pizza before, so I accidentally made a mess.

Pacswell: Yes, I’d say that you have! And why didn’t you just go out for pizza? We could have grabbed the kids and made an outing of it.

QAnanny: That’s actually the problem. As you well know, according to Q, many pizza places are a haven for child sex traffickers. I didn’t want to risk that they might try to “grab the kids and make an outing of it” if we went out for pizza.

Pacswell: Okay, reasonable enough. Although you don’t seem to have a similar problem with dragging the kids to your Catholic Church every Sunday.

QAnanny: Well, sure. The sexual predators at church are decent, God-fearing folks. Those Democratic perverts are cannibalistic Satan worshippers.

Pacswell: A fair point.

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Pacswell: See here, what is this about you needing to take January 5th and 6th off from work? You know very well that the children and I are traveling to Trump’s Stop The Steal rally on those same days! I’d rather not leave an empty house open to an attack from Antifa.

QAnanny: But that’s not fair! If I don’t show up, the others won’t have my portion of the gallows that we’ve built!

Not-So-Brighton: Well, think about it for a moment Dad… if she comes along, we can have her carry the backpack of pipe bombs. Couldn’t hurt to have a patsy.

Pacswell: Hmm… Good thinking, son! Its just that sort of moxie that makes the GOP the rightful heirs to the Americas, as well as the Golden Orbs Of Vonskorath.

QAnanny: Hey guys, I don’t know that there’s going to be room in the back of the van for both my section of the gallows and the rocket launcher.

 

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Maga-ie Sheffield: Dad! Are you doing anything about QAnanny being arrested for defiling the Capital on January 6th? We’ve got to get her out of jail!

Pacswell: I’m afraid that it may be out of my hands, my dear. When QAnanny made a bowel movement in Nancy Pelosi’s NPR book satchel, the authorities were able to test her DNA. They have plenty of evidence to keep her detained, it seems.

Maga-ie: Then what good are all of those high-priced attorneys that you keep on retainer? What price justice??

Pacswell: I admire your moxie, honey. The thing is… the DNA that QAnanny left behind also indicated that she is the is the ancestor of immigrants.

Maga-ie: Ah, enough said. Yeah, let her rot.