The HORROR! Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

I take no pleasure in dogging Halloween Ends. I’m literally its target audience. Regardless of quality, there are very few slasher films I don’t enjoy, including the worst of the Halloween sequels! Unfortunately, this movie spent too much time in a room with its own farts and forgot it was even supposed to be a slasher movie.

THE FILM ADVERTISED HAS BEEN RATED R FOR: THEMATIC ELEMENTS, PERVASIVE LANGUAGE, TOO MANY PUNS FOR MY LIKING, DEPICTIONS OF ANIMATED PENGUINS IN ADULT SITUATIONS, and more!

The Salmon Clause, Rudolphin the Red-Nosed Reindeer, It's a Flounderful Life, and more #FishAChristmasMovie on this week's trending joke game!

A pioneer of alternative comedy and star of numerous Generation X cultural touchstones, Janeane Garofalo possessed a voice for the ages. Literally and metaphorically the voice of a generation, her sarcastic, vulnerable, over it, and overwhelmed timbre was so definitive to the ‘90s that a lot of people thought she provided the voice of Daria on Daria. She didn’t, but more than two decades removed from her zeitgeist-defining days, Garofalo finally gives voice to an animated version of her persona in the form of Debora, the protagonist and focus of Lava, a futuristic movie about present-day themes.

Since your account balance has been in arrears for over 39 Earth rotations around the sun, we contacted a debt collector. And by debt collector we mean an interplanetary bounty hunter. There was some Boba someone or other who seemed pretty keen on bringing you in, but then a group of Predators were willing to do it for free.

Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

Impossible, nobody would believe it. Cartoon by Joe Wos.

After a blurry night of fun with bath salts Kevin McAllister burns down The Plaza Hotel.

Downton Abbey is based on the television show of the same name, and concerns the problems and concerns of a group of unlikable rich white people; oddly enough, it was broadcast on PBS rather than CNN.

I Transformed My Body Into A Pot Beef Stew For This Role: Christian Bale is a lock for another best actor nod as he's undergone his most ambitious body transformation to date by morphing himself into a delicious, simmering pot of beef stew. With dynamite performances by Paul Giamatti as the man who makes the stew and Amy Adams as the woman who eats it, this erotic thriller is fun for the whole family and may score Netflix it's first best picture win.

I Saw What You Did Last, Sumner Redstone VeryNormal Activity The…