Originals

If You’ve Been Accused of Exploiting Women, Then Call the Law Firm That Represented James Franco Now

“James Franco and two of his associates are facing a class-action lawsuit alleging that the actor’s Studio 4 acting and filmmaking school was actually a setup to provide them with a stream of young, impressionable women for sexual and financial exploitation.” — October 4th, 2019 Los Angeles Times


Have you been accused of sexually exploiting women for profit? Dealing with the justice system can be such a hassle! Here at the law firm that represented James Franco, we have a proven track record of helping men who sexually exploit women avoid legal consequences.

You might be thinking, “Hey, this is a losing battle because I’m guilty!” But just because you founded YoPro—a hot yoga studio where every female student is armed with a GoPro during class, then strongly encouraged to share their footage on a community website afterward—doesn’t mean you’re pervy. Believe us, here at the law firm that represented James Franco, we’ve defended far worse! In fact, we had great success with our client James Franco, after he was sued for starting a film school that allegedly had women perform increasingly sexual acts in return for giving them roles in future films that never materialized.

How do we do it? Here at the law firm that represented James Franco, we leverage systemic societal and legal injustices that favor wealthy men in power so that YOU TOO can get away with exploiting women for little or no consequence!



Maybe you’re thinking, “It’s not just that I’m guilty, but I’m actually a total sleazy shit ball and no law firm will want to work with me.”  We beg to differ. Even though you started HighDiver—a lifeguard training camp for girls ages 14 to 17, where attendees are encouraged to smoke pot then give each other mouth-to-mouth resuscitation (and are also asked to “lose their suits” in order to increase their speed during timed drills)—we know you really just want your local beaches and pools to be safe.

More good news: If you call right now, we’re giving sleazy shit balls a free consultation! We take pride in working with these often misunderstood men; and in the past, we’ve worked with the alleged sleazy shit ball, James Franco. He once asked a girl if she was 18. After she informed him she was only 17, he still asked for the name of the hotel where she was staying. So, regardless of your propensity to exploit underage girls, call us now! It’s that easy!

Maybe you’re the enterprising young gun who started MentorHer: an after school program geared toward pre-college coeds who want to improve their skills in calculus, computer science, and strip poker—because obviously these coeds will encounter ample drinking games in college. Perhaps you’re thinking, “Shouldn’t these women forgive me for exploiting them because I was just trying to help them prepare for college?” We couldn’t agree more!

Any woman who refuses to forgive you and drop charges will be sued in return. We recently helped our client, James Franco, countersue all the women in his complaint even after he said: “The things I read on Twitter are not accurate, but I completely support people coming out and being able to have a voice.”

We’ve got your back, so call now! Or call later! It doesn’t matter because the societal injustices we leverage are unlikely to change in the foreseeable future.