The Most Reliable Alternatives to Mail-in Voting

Cast your vote through the high school rumor mill.

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Pin it on a tumbleweed and let it blow through town.

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Text your vote to American Idol.

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Host a ballot reveal party.

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Send a late-night text to your election official asking if they want some civic action.

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Keep your vote bottled up inside then unleash it on your significant other.

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Formulate it into a math problem and wait for a janitor genius to solve it.

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Tweet your vote to Trump.

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Hide it in the Wikipedia banner that asks for donations.

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Roll it into a flashlight and meet at the playground.

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Adopt a cuddly town crier.

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Release it as a single featuring Ariana Grande and let it rise to the top of the charts.

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Leave it under your pillow for the Election Fairy.

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Print it on a souvenir grain of rice, feed it to a yak and send it to a poll volunteer.

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Attach your ballot to a virus and let it spread.

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