The Tax-Hating Hidden Messages Inside Shakira’s Music
“Spanish prosecutors accused the entertainer, Shakira, of failing to pay 14.5 million euros ($13.9 million) in taxes on income earned between 2012 and 2014. Prosecutors are seeking an eight-year prison sentence and a hefty fine if she is found guilty of tax evasion.” – NPR, 9/27/22
It turns out Judas Priest, Led Zeppelin, and Pink Floyd aren’t the only ones who hide fucked-up, authority-hating messages in their music. Shakira does too. And after she was accused of tax evasion, I re-examined her biggest hits in search of cryptic, foreboding, tax-evasion-related messages. Here’s what I found:
“Underneath Your Clothes” (2001):
Underneath your clothes
There’s an endless story
About a woman
Whose name rhymes with Shmashmira
Who has a strict aversion to being a lawfully abiding citizen
And paying her taxes.
It’s kinda weird that this story
Is somehow underneath your clothes?
But maybe that means
You’ll get charged with tax evasion –
And not me!
Sorry, babe.
“She Wolf” (2009):
There’s a tax-evading she wolf in the closet
Open up and set her free (ahoo!)
There’s a tax-evading she wolf in the closet
Let her out so she can cheat! (ahoooo!)
“Beautiful Liar” (2006):
Let’s not kill the karma
(Ay) let’s not start a fight
(Ay) it’s not worth the drama
For a beautiful liar
(Oh) can’t we laugh about it? (ha-ha-ha)
(Oh) it’s not worth my time
(Oh) Taxes, that is.
(Oh) I really want to clarify here,
(Oh?) That I’m talking about taxes
(What?!) And not paying them
(Shakira!) Because I hate them
(Shakira!!) And they’re not worth my time
(Shakira?!!) Because like the title of this song,
(You should just pay them!) I’m just a beautiful liar
“Whenever, Wherever” (2001):
Baby, I would climb the Andes solely
To count the freckles on your body
But baby, I’m kinda thinking about not paying my taxes
At some unspecified time in the future
They’re absolute bullshit.
You know what taxes are?
They’re those stupid-ass,
Compulsory contributions you have to make to the state!
Whenever, wherever
We’re meant to be together
I’ll be there, and you’ll be near
Just please, no taxes, my dear
“My Hips Don’t Lie (But I Do, About My Taxes)” (2005):
I’m on tonight
You know my hips don’t lie (no fighting)
But to be blunt, I do lie (you do?)
I lie about taxes (What?)
And I hate them so much, I’m going to try (Try what?)
Really fucking hard to not pay them. (This is crazy!)
For a two year span (Weirdly specific!)
In about 10 years. (Uhhh….)
And I’ll never get caught!! (Whattttttt?!)
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Tim Cahill is a writer and musician living in New York. He loves animals, rock & roll, and a nice pair of jeans.