Who We Are
We are more than a coworking space. We are dedicated to creating a community and advancing the equality of all women, who are also three-thousand-year-old sea hags.
At The Lure, you’ll find everything you need to advance your dream, whether it’s starting your own business, writing a novel, or seducing men and dragging them to your underwater lair.
Our space allows you to incubate your friendships and ideas, and also to incubate your gelatinous clutch of thousands of sea hag eggs.
What We Offer
Workspaces—We offer solo and group spaces equipped with everything you need for brainstorming, meeting with hags who inspire you, or penning poems to the goddess of the deep. Every workspace is equipped with electric eel charging stations.
Networking—Make new friends as we work on a giant net to ensnare man-humans.
Showers—Sometimes you need to freshen up for a meeting, so we pipe in unfiltered water straight from the East River—perfect for replenishing your skin’s natural slime.
Beauty Room—Stocked with everything you need to style and feed your locks of venomous sea snakes.
Shellphone Booth—Our vintage style booths allow you complete privacy to pick up your shell and hear the call of the ocean. For your listening pleasure, we offer a variety of conchs preloaded with voice bubbles of the doomed. It’s also a great place to cry!
Lil’ Lure—Once your thousands of eggs hatch, your adorable larvae will have access to our exclusive playroom. Trained caregivers will teach them the ABCs, nurture them with bloodworm snacks, and train them for the coming sea hag invasion of Manhattan.
At The Lure, we don’t see color, probably because our eyes are adapted to the midnight zone of the sea where none of the sun’s light can penetrate. We don’t care whether your scales are black, white, or purple—although most sea hags do turn green eventually from symbiotic algae.
Our calendar is full of exclusive members-only events, all designed to help you achieve inner peace, and also to get ready for to conquer mankind and establish a new era of Sea Hag domination. Upcoming events include Whirlpool Yoga, Songwriting for Sirens, and Breaking the Glass Ceiling and Also the Glass Bottom Boat: An Evening With Krillary Clinton.
We offer locations in SoHo, Midtown, and the Tetanus-Encrusted Flotsam Under the Brooklyn Bridge. All our locations are conveniently located just off the sewer system, and are curated with soothing decor to ignite your creativity—you’ll feel extra inspired to slither into the streets of Manhattan and capture a few finance bros for your abyssal garden of souls.
The Lure is open to all women, as long as you’re a hideous hag from the uncharted depths of the ocean. And also as long as you can afford our monthly membership fee of 18,500 Spanish doubloons. Oh and you need to seem interesting or well-connected enough for us to want to share a space with you. We’re completely inclusive, if you don’t count the hags we exclude.
Once you sign your thousand-year membership contract, you’ll have instant-access to all of our exclusive events and amenities. Contracts renew automatically, and of course you can easily cancel your membership once a millennium, whenever the harvest moon falls on the third Thursday of the month.
Of course you won’t want to cancel your membership and miss out on all of The Lure’s benefits. Trust us, you really won’t want to cancel. Things tend to get a little slippery when hags try to leave The Lure.
Fill out your application and chart a new course for your life! And while you’re here, chart the course of that Caribbean cruise you’ve been dreaming about. The doomed won’t feast upon themselves, ladies!
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Rebecca Saltzman’s humor writing appears in The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, and The Belladonna Comedy. She is the fiction editor of Washington Square Review and is currently completing her MFA at New York University.