What Will it Take to Get Anthony Weiner to Stop Sexting?

There are only a few viable scenarios that appear likely:

His penis falls off. While trying to take a photo of the severed member to send to a lady, his iPhone explodes, killing him instantly.

Sexting becomes illegal and punishable by death in America. Anthony moves to Tijuana, where his penis is stung by killer bees while sexting. After taking a pic of his swollen, infected genitalia and texting it to his child’s baby-sitter, he falls into a painful fever and dies soon thereafter.

Anthony is sent to prison for being gross, and is denied access to an iPhone. While attempting to telepathically send a mental image of his penis to the underage daughter of the warden, he is disemboweled with a tuna can lid by a fellow inmate.

Tired off all this nonsense, Superman finally throws Anthony Weiner into the Phantom Zone. After attempting to text a photo of his penis to Doomsday and General Zod, he is torn to pieces immediately.

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Kit Lively

Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence

His penis falls off. While trying to take a photo of the severed member to send to a lady, his iPhone explodes, killing him instantly.

Sexting becomes illegal and punishable by death in America. Anthony moves to Tijuana, where his penis is stung by killer bees while sexting. After taking a pic of his swollen, infected genitalia and texting it to his child’s baby-sitter, he falls into a painful fever and dies soon thereafter.

Anthony is sent to prison for being gross, and is denied access to an iPhone. While attempting to telepathically send a mental image of his penis to the underage daughter of the warden, he is disemboweled with a tuna can lid by a fellow inmate.

Tired off all this nonsense, Superman finally throws Anthony Weiner into the Phantom Zone. After attempting to text a photo of his penis to Doomsday and General Zod, he is torn to pieces immediately.

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