A Sampling Of Brett Kavanaugh’s Home Brewed Beers

McConnell’s Mud & Muck Lager: Made from fermented barley, hops and crocodile tears, this lager has the bitter aftertaste of sweat and denial.

Lindsey Graham Blonde Ale: A delicate beer with fruity undertones. Goes down smooth with little sustenance and no apology.

Dry Hump Chump Malt Liquor: Dissipating head with a dry finish.

UB40 Porter: Bold beer best served on ice to bring out its aggressive flavors.

False Accusations IPA: A craft beer collaboration created by a high school basketball team in a Bethesda, Maryland basement. Strong scent of overactive testosterone. A favorite among underage drinkers.

Twilight Zone-Out Imperial Stout: A robust, game night stout perfect for Quarters or The Devil’s Triangle.

Full Exposure Pilsner: Naked brew with a dry aftertaste and no finish.

Blackout Stout: Bottled at Georgetown Preparatory School in 1983, this dense beer was created for “Beach Week” with its high alcohol content ensuring a lack of morals and convenient memory loss.

Small Wood Double IPA: A hoppy beer with nutty undertones and a strong hint of male entitlement. The presidential beer of choice.

Sausage Fest Pale Ale: A favorite among prep school boys and GOP members of the House Judiciary Committee.