An Oral History Of The Time Dylan Miller Ate Nine Deli Sandwiches

Dylan Miller: I just remember sitting in pre-calc that morning and thinking about how long it had been since I’d had a deli sandwich and how good one sounded. 

 

Chase Roberts (Friend): Dylan would not stop talking about sandwiches that whole day. At first I didn’t mind it because I like the deli too, but after a while it started to get kind of annoying. 

 

Rebecca Johnson (Dylan’s then Girlfriend): Dylan always seemed more interested in sandwiches than me. 

 

Dylan Miller: I was definitely more interested in sandwiches than Rebecca. We were not a good match. 

 

Tom DeLodge (Head Coach of the Clifton Lake Football Team): Dylan was one of the better players on our team that year. He came up big for us on several occasions, but that day at practice, he was just really out of it. He seemed distracted.

 

Blaise Roberts (Linebackers Coach at Clifton Lake): He definitely wasn’t himself that day. He was jumping offsides, missing tackles, just not the usual energy he brought. When I called him on it, he just kind of shrugged.

 

Dylan Miller: I couldn’t stop thinking about deli sandwiches.

 

Richie “Moose” McKinley (Dylan’s Friend and Teammate): Dylan was my ride home from practice most days because we lived on the same street. That day when we got to the car he asked me if I cared if we made a quick stop on the way home. I told him I didn’t. 

 

Tawny Schultz (Former Cashier at Dom’s Deli): It was only my second day on the job, so I was relatively new to the whole thing. When I saw the two guys walk in, I didn’t think much of it. My shift was about to end and then my boyfriend and I were going to see Rush Hour 3. 

 

Richie “Moose” McKinley: When Dylan pulled into Dom’s, I was actually pretty glad because I was hungry and my mom had mentioned that morning that she was going to make goulash for dinner. I love my mom, but her goulash is terrible. 

 

Tawny Schultz: So these sweaty dudes walk in and the first guy comes up and orders something regular. I think it was a turkey club or something. 

 

Richie “Moose” McKinley: I was going through a pretty big turkey phase around that time. 

 

Tawny Schultz: Then this other guy steps up and he just had this kind of crazed look on his face. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He just stood there and stared at the menu for a really long time.

 

Richie “Moose” McKinley: He probably studied that menu for a good three minutes, which doesn’t sound like a long time, but it was. 

 

Dylan Miller: Three minutes seems like a stretch, but it could have been.

 

Tawny Schultz: He finally clears his throat and orders. At first I didn’t think I heard him right because who in their right mind would order what he ordered. So I ask him to repeat it, but then he says it again, even louder. It was unmistakable. 

 

Richie “Moose” McKinley: Nine deli sandwiches. 

 

Tawny Schultz: He said he wanted nine deli sandwiches. 

 

Dylan Miller: I ordered nine sandwiches. 

 

Melinda Schoolcraft (Postal worker who was in line behind Dylan): At first I thought he said five sandwiches, which seemed like a lot, but then he said nine and I was just really floored.

 

Tawny Schultz: When I asked him what nine sandwiches he wanted, he just kind of shook his head. I guess he didn’t really care.  

 

Todd Bricklin (Dom’s Cook): I prepped all nine of them. I don’t really remember much more than that. I’ve made a lot of sandwiches at Dom’s. 

 

Tawny Schultz: When the order came out, the sandwiches were so heavy that the plastic tray started to bend. I had to double up on trays. I’ll never forget that. Two trays! 

 

Melinda Schoolcraft: The kid has all these sandwiches and he’s slowly making his way towards a booth in the corner. That’s when I noticed he already had one of them almost completely finished. Think it was ham and cheese. 

 

Dylan Miller: I couldn’t wait another second.  

 

Tawny Schultz: He plopped down in a corner booth and just went to town. He had three sandwiches down in about 90 seconds.

 

Richie “Moose” McKinley: A crowd started to gather around our booth.

 

Melinda Schoolcraft: You’re damn right I watched! Better than anything I’ve ever seen on pay per view. 

 

Dale Richards (Assistant Manager at Dom’s Deli): After hearing from Tawny what was happening, little by little we all left the kitchen and headed into the dining area to watch. We don’t get a lot of excitement at Dom’s. This was just too good to pass up. 

 

Tawny Schultz: When my boyfriend came to pick me up, I told him he needed to come inside. 

 

Dontrelle Waters (Tawny’s then Boyfriend): When Tawny told me to come inside, I was really confused. Her text didn’t make much sense. But in the end, I was glad I saw it go down. 

 

Dylan Miller: I remember getting through the first six sandwiches without much trouble.

 

Richie “Moose” McKinley: Dylan didn’t say a word the entire meal, which was okay because his mouth was full the entire time. 

 

Tawny Schultz: There must have been about a dozen people watching it go down. 

 

Melinda Schoolcraft: 12 feels low. I think there might have been closer to 20.

 

Dylan Miller: I was only vaguely aware of the audience. 

 

Richie “Moose” McKinley: By the time he had the ninth one in his hand, we were all chanting “DYLAN” “DYLAN.”

 

Dontrelle Waters: I thought we were yelling “FILL HIM.”

 

Tawny Schultz: I think I was chanting “DYLAN” and “FILL HIM.”

 

Dylan Miller: The ninth one was tough, but I wasn’t going to stop. I knew I’d regret it if I did. 

 

Tawny Schultz: The ninth sandwich seemed to genuinely pain him. It was an Italian sub loaded with capicola.

 

Dontrelle Waters: More capicola on that sandwich than you’ve ever seen in your life. 

 

Richie “Moose” McKinley: When he took that last bite, I think we all let out a sigh of relief.

 

Melinda Schoolcraft: It was both an honor and a privilege. 

 

Dr. Matthew Thompson (Pediatrician and patron of Dom’s Deli): I finished my meal and left just as those boys were walking in. When I later heard about what had happened, I was devastated to have missed out. Devastated. 

 

Richie “Moose” McKinley: We all felt like we were a part of something special that day. 

 

Tawny Schultz: We ended up missing Rush Hour 3, so we had to see Daddy Day Camp instead. It was just okay.

 

Dontrelle Waters: Daddy Day Camp was bad. 

 

Tawny Schultz: I quit the next day. There was no way anything was ever going to top that. 

 

Dylan Miller: When I finished, I felt invincible. All of those people chanting my name and congratulating me. Of course, all of that ended when I puked all over myself on the drive home. 

 

Richie “Moose” McKinley: He threw up a lot on that drive home, but I’d say it was worth it. 

 

Dylan Miller: It was definitely not worth it. I wasn’t right for weeks after that. I ended up having to see a Gastroenterologist and missed Homecoming.

 

Rebecca Johnson: Yeah, we missed the Homecoming Dance. Vintage Dylan. 

 

Tom DeLodge: We lost the football game 45-10. We could have used Dylan that day.   

 

Angela Miller (Dylan’s Mother): Dylan was always a very sweet boy, but there were times when he seemed to lack much common sense. The deli sandwich ordeal was really frustrating as a parent. I remember asking him why he ate so many? He didn’t seem to really know. I think he got caught up in the moment.

 

Richie “Moose” McKinley: Sill the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. 

 

Tawny Schultz: A legend. 

 

Melinda Schoolcraft: That kid was the genuine article. 

 

Dontrelle Waters: You gotta tip your hat to him. 

 

Dylan Miller: I haven’t been to a Dom’s since. It’s just…it’s hard to describe. I don’t know, maybe Thomas Wolfe was right when he said “You can’t go home again.”