A Conversation Between Two Butts Who Just Butt-Dialed Each Other

1: Hi. I think you butt dialed me.
2: No, I saw your number and called you back. I think YOU butt dialed ME.
1: Really?
2: Yeah.
1: Well, you’re an ass.
2: So are you.
1: I know.
2: I know, too!
1: So, do you like Donald Trump?
2: Yes.
1: So what are you up to, anyway?
2:  Aw, she has me sitting on this park bench and it feels hard as rocks. What about you?
1: I’m starting to get nervous because ice skating season’s coming.
2: Really? Do you know what that makes you?
1: What?
2:  A chicken butt.
1: Don’t call me that, man. She falls in her tutu a lot.
2: Too bad. That sounds cold.
1: Trust me, it is. It is.
1:  So what kind of music do you like?
2: Know what? You’re kind of a buttinsky.
1: How’d you know my name?
2: Your name is actually Buttinsky?
1: Yes.
2: What is that, Jewish?
1: It’s Polish.
2: Did you pick that out yourself, or did your owner name you?
1: He only named one of his body parts, and it wasn’t me. I chose my own name.
2:  I like it.
1: Thanks.
2:  I picked out my own name too.
1:  You did?
2:  Yeah. I like to rock, so I named myself Butt-y Holly.
1:  Butt-y Holly. Not bad. Not bad.
2:  Do you want to know the name of Paul Newman’s butt?
1:  Is this going to be a joke, or serious?
2: It’s dead serious.
1: How would you even know the name of Paul Newman’s butt?
2: We sat next to each other at Spago once.
1: I think you’re talking out of your ass.
2: Yeah, but so are you.
1: I know.
2: I know too.
1: Okay. What is the name of Paul Newman’s butt?
2: Paul Newman’s butt is named Butt-ch Cassidy.
1: That’s stupid.
2: Do you want to know the name of Woody Allen’s butt?
1: Not especially.
2:  Fanny Hall.
1:  Fanny Hall.
2. Yes. Fanny Hall.
1: Keep it up.
2: Do you want to know what Donald Trump calls his butt?
1:  I don’t.
2:  Come on. You must want to know.
1:  All right. What does Donald Trump call his butt?
2:  Butt-Her-Emails.
1:  Not funny.
2:  Maybe, but you know what they say about opinions.
1:  That’s true. I’ve got one.
2:  So do I!
1: I know.
2:  I know too.
1:  Hey, I might have to let you go. Someone’s calling on my other line.
2:  It’s probably just a booty call.
1:  They almost always are.
2:  Mine are too.
1:  I know.
2:  Well, if you have to take it, go ahead.
1:  Nah, I’ll ignore it. It’s probably one of my butt buddies.
2:  Good!
1:  But I do have to get going soon. She’s heading to a concert later.
2:  Who are you seeing?
1:  I hope it’s Butt Midler.
2:  Nice!
1:  Anyway, feel free to butt-dial me any time. Just don’t pick on me anymore, okay?
2:  Why not?
1:  I’m tired of being the butt of jokes.
2:  Me too.
1:  We both are.
2:  Have a great day, ya ass!
1:  Butt of course!