Can You Tell Me How to Get, How to Get Away From Cancelled Street? Sesame Street Characters Apology Tour

“What can I say, it was a different time.   Even my rubber ducky was loaded to the gills with Quaaludes back then.   But yeah, sorry for the hurt feelings, I guess.”

“There would only be one reason why somebody’s underpants ended up in my can, if you get what I’m saying.  And it was consensual.  I put the “sensual” into “consensual”, you dig?   Of course I’m sorry for any misunderstandings, though.”

“Jesus Christ.   This has been blown way out of proportion.  I’ll say it again for the cheap seats, though….  I was talking about some other Muppet’s weird looking bush.   This is not a race thing.   Sorry for the confusion, but for fuck’s sake…”

“Golly, I am so very sorry.   I admit that I had my nest on Epstein Island, but I think that was years before any of the horror stories.    I did blow Clinton on the beach once on that same island, if that helps with the timeline.”

“That was during the last few hours of a 72 hour party in Cancun.    I barely remember anything, but yes, I have seen the photos.    I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, but these Fraggle Rock folks know what it’s like to party like a Muppet.    We fuck shit up.”

“I will give you one, ONE, apology for my innocent interest in historical trinkets.   Beyond that, you should probably go fuck yourself twice.”

“First of all, I had no idea that cookie is slang for female genitalia, okay?   I honestly am totally obsessed with cookies and cookies alone.  Actual cookies, not female body parts.   If anything, I’m completely asexual.    Buy okay, sorry ladies.   No more Instagram-cracker cookie photos for you.   Too bad, so sad.”