Dad Jokes: Just the Punchlines

Cardi A

Hi hungry, I’m dad!

Not in my backyard!

I don’t know, CAN you assume I don’t want to be resuscitated?

Armed robbery!

Right to BEAR arms!

Because that’s your ‘aunt’!!!

Canni ball!

Now THAT’S what I call corn hole!

Alcoholic? I barely knew her!

How’d that soap on a rope get there?

John Kerry!

Lasagna wings!

When I say tie one on I mean it

I am not the father

Now that’s a ball pit!

Because she’s your boss!

Nice to meet you, “choking to death.” I’m your dad!

It was a real Hit-ler!

Then she said, “yea sure, I’ll make it great again”

Punchlines? More like lunch lines, I’m starving!

The bartender says, I bet you’ll want a TALL one!

Your mother’s car is already self driving- when I’m in it, that is!

Guess you’d be in a pickle

It was me!

And that’s how we got your little sister!

…and I’ll check the fe-mail!

You are all my favorite alibis.

T-bone? More like Pee-bone!

Anyway, now I have love handles


I didn’t say proctologist – I said plumber!

They were grate-ing!