Department Of Defense Itemized Trump Property Charges
This week CNN reported Defense Department employees charged just over $138,000 at Trump branded properties in the first eight months of Donald Trump’s presidency. Those charges, uncovered!
(Provided courtesy of Department of Defense and Entertainment Tonight)
14 OnDemand showings of Stormy Daniels film, Hail To The Queef
Special, Deluxe Stress-Reducing Massages for each member of staff, following Trump’s last speech.
Carpet cleaning expenses following mishap with Trump’s selection of tanning oils and sprays.
Bar tab following long morning of Trump Tweets.
On-site tailor adjustments to Trump’s bullet-proof vest / girdle, following eighth visit to McDonalds in two days.
Pool cleaning fees (excess hair, tanning oils, chicken nugget sauce, etc.) following trip to pool by Trump.
Twenty seven visits from on-site psychiatrist, counseling Trump staffers who had to be talked off the ledge of a top-level floor.
Fifty-six rentals of private, sound-proof “Screaming Room”, followed by stone massage and valium-vapor treatments.
Room Service delivery of anti-nausea / diarrheal medication.
Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence