Donnie’s Book Report About the Witch Hunt

“It has been incorrectly reported that Rudy Giuliani and others will not be doing a counter to the Mueller Report. That is Fake News. Already 87 pages done, but obviously cannot complete until we see the final Witch Hunt Report.” – Donald J. Trump on Twitter

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Hi. My name is Donnie, and what I am going to do is I am going to do a book report. The book report I am going to do is about the Witch Hunt book we read in class during silent reading time. I know Mrs. S said we all had to pick different books and Robbie M. already did his book report on the Witch Hunt book, but I called it first even if no one heard me, you can ask anyone, except don’t ask Robbie M. or anyone who sits in his desk cluster. But you can ask anyone.

I wrote an 87 page book report on the Witch Hunt, but I left it at home. I should know it’s so long because I’m great at counting which is why I’m in the blue group for math, which my mom always tells me me about is that “Sure, honey, it’s the good math group,” after she pauses for a long time like she’s trying to decide how to say something. Anyway because I’m super good at Math, I remember that it was longer than you can imagine. It was for example longer than the line to play tetherball yesterday. (laughter) Actually it was even longer than a butt. (pause for laughter, which does not come) Sorry, Mrs. S. Also my mom wrote me a note saying I had an 87 page report but that I left it at home on accident which she said is because I am very distracted but I mean well. But also Mrs. S, she said to say her signature looks different cuz she was really cold because of the snow is coming and so her hand was shaking and that’s why it’s different but that it was her, she pinky promised.

So I wrote the best report, which actually even my mom said, but now I’ve told you about how I left it at home, so now I will tell you what I remember for my book report. The setting of a book is where the story takes place, and I learned that the setting of The Witch Hunt was in the United States of America, which is the country where we live, which has freedom and other things. The setting was also at the White House, which was extremely incredible that it had two settings. In class we learned that the White House is where the President lives. What a President is is he’s the person who’s in charge of the whole entire country, and he can actually be a girl too, but not really.

The main characters in the story I read were … well actually there were like a zillion billion so I can’t totally remember, but …. oh! I just remembered that the President was the main one, and also a man named Robert was in it, which I thought was extremely hilarious because did you know that Robbie M’s real name is actually Robert? That’s why I call him Poopy Robert, which is also extremely hilarious. No! I don’t want my clip moved from green to yellow! Please, Mrs. S! I promise I’ll finish!

Okay so like Mrs. S said that books have three main events in them, and so in my book report, these are the three main events in The Witch Hunt, which is the book I read for my book report. The first main event is that the President had spent like his whole life doing crimes, which is against the law, and a word called irony is about that he probably would have gotten away with it except that his ego, which looks like the name of a waffle but isn’t, my mom told me that, told him that he had to also be President and that’s probably what will ruin his entire life and also even plus to that is that he hates it. And then the second main event is that the character named Robert did a witch hunt, which is what it means when someone investigates you for the crimes you did. And then the third main event I still don’t know because it was a Choose Your Own Adventure and I didn’t decide if I wanted to flip to page 27 or 43 yet.

Mrs. S. said a good book report has a review of the book which means you say if you like it, so my review of this book for my book report is I didn’t like this book because it wasn’t a Captain Underpants. And in conclusion, my favorite Captain Underpants is Captain Underpants 2: Attack of the Talking Toilet.

This was a good book for if you like getting in over your head and also when you like to know who is the bad guy and who is the good guy because it’s extremely easy to spot from the very beginning. And I like it because it’s a Choose Your Own Adventure book so like what should definitely happen might not happen because there’s essentially a 4th grader at the wheel, which is me.

Thank you for listening to my book report.