Originals

Fight Or Flight Or Flex

You’re walking along and you see a house engulfed in flames.

Fight: You immediately run into the house and rescue the family trapped inside.

Flight: You get out of the way, giving firefighters space to rescue the family trapped inside.

Flex: You rip your shirt off and flex really hard at the house fire with the family trapped inside.




The police are chasing an assailant down the street towards you.

Fight: You block the assailant’s path allowing the officer’s to catch up and tackle him.

Flight: You stay out of the way and watch your tax dollars at work from a safe distance.

Flex: You rip your shirt off and flex with all your might but no one really notices since they’re busy with the police chase.


You’re driving along and your car is rear ended.

Fight: You flag down the driver responsible and exchange insurance information.

Flight: You pull over to the side of the road, close your eyes, and put your hands over your ears.

Flex: You rip your shirt off and flex your full body toward the other driver who takes a picture to document the accident and so he can show his trainer the goal body he wants.


A robber shoots a bullet at your head.

Fight: You quickly duck out of the way and run for cover.

Flight: You die.

Flex: You flex at the bullet coming towards you and then die, traumatizing the robber with a bizarre mental image of your shredded figure forever.


You wake up to discover you’ve been buried alive.

Fight: You attempt to move around and shout for help but after a valiant effort you suffocate and die.

Flight: You quickly suffocate and die.

Flex: Unable to rip your shirt off, you flex really hard and then die but by the time they dig up your body the medical examiner is pretty impressed by your physique.


You’re a hostage being forced onto an airplane headed to Morocco in order to meet the demands of your captor.

Fight: You heroically fight off the abductor allowing yourself and the other hostages to return home safely.

Flight: You take the flight to Morocco but the plane is shot down by fighter jets over the Atlantic Ocean.

Flex: You rip your shirt off to flex aggressively at the abductor, distracting him long enough for a police sniper to shoot him in the head, spraying blood all over your chiseled abs.


You’re competing in a bodybuilding competition and during your posing routine you rupture every muscle in your body.

Fight: You rush to the side of the stage to receive medical treatment.

Flight: You freeze in terror and hope no one saw what happened.

Flex: You flex even harder causing your entire body to turn purple and then shortly after become the first person in history to spontaneously combust, sending your body flying around the room like a balloon leaking air. You’re given a posthumous first prize and your legacy as the man who exploded himself by flexing is memorialized in an extremely detailed bronze statue in gyms across the world.

by Robert Criss

Robert Criss

Robert Criss is a writer from Pittsburgh who writes to save the family farm. You can find his work right above this biography or below depending on where this biography is placed on the page in relation to the work. Follow his instagram @robertcriss