Psoriasis flakes that taste just like Sweet-Tarts candy dust.
Albino asking to receive reverse anal bleaching.
Miniature golf course to be transferred to the family mausoleum.
The ability to heal the sick and dying via tea-bagging the patient’s forehead.
Barf bag that magically transforms vomit into fresh microwave popcorn.
Exact replica of the throne from Game Of Thrones,
but made of pimento cheese and stray hairs swept from the floor of a local gym’s locker room.
To become incredibly famous, wealthy and beloved for having a bowel movement on Pat Sajak’s star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame.
Massive weight loss, as well as for fat from weight loss placed into a bean bag chair for dry humping use later.
Necessary funds and public support for dream business Merkin For The Weekend
, exclusively creating pubic hair wigs for those with 9 to 5 office jobs.
The corpse of McDonald’s Grimace, once he dies of natural causes of course, to be used as a ringer judge on the pro square-dancing circuit.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence