Neil deGrasse Tyson Sounds Off On Other Movies
As you probably have already read on his daily blog, deGrasse Is Always Greener, Neil deGrasse Tyson had a field day explaining in great detail why the recent movie Moonfall is the most “scientifically inaccurate” movie ever filmed. Fascinating to be sure, but what does he think about other recent films?
No Time To Die
“On the contrary, I’m afraid. This 007 James Bond fellow would have more than likely died years ago, if not from cirrhosis of the liver, than from one of the several dozen STDs that he has surely contracted over the decades.”
Fast X
“This film should be titled Fast X Lax, as the stupidity and unrealistic scenarios were so beyond absurd that I became upset to the point of having several bouts of intense diarrhea. If I ever discover a black hole that is particularly unstable and irritating to behold, I am doing to name it Vin Diesel.”
Scream 6
“The insipid characters in this film would have died due to natural selection years before a disgruntled psychopath had the chance to stalk and chop them up. Now that’s a movie that I’d love to see!”
The Little Mermaid (2023)
“The filmmakers would have you believe that the world’s last mermaid didn’t die from injuries sustained during the early 1800’s battle to contest Earth C-38’s title of the Premiere Earth Timeline. You can see how foolhardy these Hollywood types are, right? It’s almost laughable!”
Cocaine Bear
While the basic storyline is admittedly a bit far-fetched, I must confess that I happen to own a couple of owls who are hooked on oxycontin, so who’s to say? I choose to refrain from casting aspersions.”
Toy Story 4
“Toys simply cannot come to life willy nilly like they seemingly do in this movie. Are they possibly AI creations, or aliens perhaps? The film is stingy with necessary details. And why does that one sound sort of like Tom Hanks? Preposterous!!”
Human Centipede
“Now this… this was rather interesting. I took descriptive notes while watching the movie, it seems like it could be the foundation for a fun autumn craft project.”
All Asian Anal Action 17
“Well, there is something to be said for truth in advertising, I suppose.”
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
