Is it Time for our Pandemic Pod to Become a Swingers’ Circle?

Hey everybody,

I just want to say first and foremost what an absolutely sanity-saving thing our pandemic pod has been. Without it, I‘m sure Todd and I would have murdered each other, and God knows our kids can’t fend for themselves, ha ha. And speaking of the kids, having your two girls play with our twins has kept them from murdering us. So many murders averted here! Which is why I want to apologize if I made it weird by suggesting we go the extra mile and start banging each other’s spouses.

Todd is absolutely right: I should have found a much more tactful way to broach the subject than just blurting it out over my fourth Quarantini. I thought I’d been picking up a vibe from Sarah, but booze makes you think a lot of things, doesn’t it? Anyway, I‘m sorry that I spent so much of the evening staring down Sarah’s shirt and I’m definitely sorry I caressed John’s ass as we left. By the cold light of day I’m hoping nobody noticed any of that, but I feel like it’s really important to be transparent here.

All that said, I would hate for the way I brought it up to turn you off of the idea entirely. Now that I’m sober (albeit with a monster hangover, he he) I’d like to make a case for introducing a swinging element into our happy pod, but I promise you if you’re all still opposed to it I won’t mention it again. I need this pod even more than I need more than one set of hands on my tits, I assure you! Maybe only a little more, but still.

First of all, we’re all healthy. I don’t just mean Covid-free – I mean we’ve all been in monogamous relationships since before Tinder was a twinkle in some start-up asshole’s eye and the chances of any of us having an STD are pretty much nil. I have an IUD. Sarah’s on the Pill. We don’t have to worry about making any Pod babies.

Furthermore, we’re all suffering Zoom fatigue, screen boredom, Netflix doldrums, name your lockdown poison. The kids are driving us all nuts. We’re bored and tense and full of unhappiness and fear. Plus, we all work from home, except Todd, and as we all know unemployment has left him even more bored and scared than the rest of us. We need a little excitement and gratification in our lives, and I just think that a little good old-fashioned spouse swapping might be just the thing.

For that matter, it doesn’t have to be just a straight swap. There’s any number of configurations this could take. It’s gonna be a long summer – we could rotate out who watches the kids while the rest of us ménage it up in the rec room. We could watch each other bone. We could wait until the kids are all asleep and throw ourselves a proper orgy. The possibilities are endless. Todd and I alone, however, have just about run out of possibilities. I’m not trying to sound desperate here, but the silicone is starting to crack on my Rabbit and I’m kind of at my wit’s end.

Anyway, like I said, I will let this matter drop if you’re really not all interested (I reserve the right to a little coquettish glance every now and again though, those Quarantinis are *strong*). This Pod has meant everything to me, and I would never want to jeopardize it. On the other hand, if you guys come around, I have some fantastic game ideas for later. And while we’re at it, maybe we could consider expanding our pod to the McConnell’s? Audra’s been looking particularly lush.