Lesser Known Facts About House Speaker Mike Johnson
In addition to the app he and his son use to keep from masturbating, he also has an app that lets him know how many orgasms his wife would have had if he weren’t such a milquetoast lover.
Truly believes that God sent Donald Trump to lead America, and yet still chooses to be a Christian anyway.
Is such a soulless, unfeeling, corrupt husk without a hint of basic human decency and compassion that he could easily seek out a career as a healthcare insurance CEO.
Tries like the dickens to keep his thoughts pure and devine, but nevertheless can’t seem to shake his recurring dreams of the Lucky Charms cereal mascot leprechaun eating his ass to completion.
Has spent a fortune on the lessons and mental training to keep his face looking so punchable.
Goes to church worship service each and every Sunday, mostly to loiter a bit following the service in order to catch a quick whiff of where the altar boys were sitting.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
