Mar-A-Lago Menu (In the Event of Your Eventual Food Poisoning)
“Mr. Trump’s” Braised White Toast*
$50.00
Chilled Pepto Bismol
Served in Brandy Snifter
$45.00
Shaved Ice
$30.00
Single Organic Banana
$30.00
“Mr. Trump’s” White Rice, lightly salted*
$50.00
3 Saltines
$35.00
The Most Beautiful Piece Of Chocolate Cake You Have Ever Seen
$75.00
*white only, no substitutions
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Cara Marino is a freelance writer and TV producer. She has written grocery lists, notes to her husband and cries for help. She once had dinner with Walter Cronkite which she tries to work in every single conversation. It’s like, enough already.
