New “I’m Not a Robot” Tests

-What is human empathy?


-Describe the last time you had your heart broken.  How was it your fault?


-You’re on a trolley and the rails are broken.  You’re about to run into ten workers. Why did you break up with Sharon?


-Bleed for me.  Describe the cold metal taste of your own blood and think about who you have wronged.


-Here’s a photo of your family.  Click on the people you no longer talk to.  Then click on the people who have asked to borrow money.


-Where did you go on your honeymoon?  Why was it with that bitch Wendy and not Sharon?


-What were you thinking when you decided to invest in BitCoin.  No, seriously. What were you thinking?


-What’s your deepest darkest secret? We won’t tell.  We’re just the internet.


-Describe the feeling of holding your child for the first time.  Describe your worries for them considering they are now growing up in a world where climate change only has ten years to be curtailed.


-Apologize to Sharon.  Call her up on the phone right now and say “Sharon, I was wrong.  I left Wendy. Will you marry me?” We’re listening.