Pretty Basic Skinny Dip Tips

Make sure that a life guard is present, even if it’s your pervy uncle hiding in the bushes.

Sorry, you’re not completely naked as long as you’re still wearing that colostomy bag.

Carefully placed leeches can help cover portions of your body that make you feel insecure.

By all means, feel free to skinny dip while wearing an artificial limb; in a worst-case scenario, the limb can be used as a floatation device.

Doing a naked cannonball into the water is essentially the same thing as giving yourself a full enema in three seconds time, so proceed with caution.

If you have a really great body, allow others with less-great bodies a few minutes to frolic in the water before making your entrance.