Best of 2020
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/17yr-feat.jpg 330 432 Allison Hirschlag https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Allison Hirschlag2020-03-24 20:12:352020-12-31 17:44:08Quiz: Have You Fallen Through a Magical Time Portal to Where You’re 17 Again, or Are You Just Self-Isolating Due to a Global Pandemic?
Quiz: Have You Fallen Through a Magical Time Portal to Where You’re 17 Again, or Are You Just Self-Isolating Due to a Global Pandemic?
- Everything is boring
- You can’t make yourself do anything productive without getting a treat.
- The prospect of sex is very exciting, but there are no safe places in which to have it.
- You’re always hungry, but food never fills the void in your soul.
- Your mom is constantly telling you that everything you’re doing is wrong.
- You call your house a prison with total sincerity.
- Days feel endless.
- Your parents won’t listen to you even though you know much more than them about most things.
- All things that are forbidden — like staying out late, partying in groups and getting a tattoo — are now the only things you want to do.
- At least two times a day you yell at everyone and then storm off to cry in your bedroom because life is terrible and you just want the bad part to be over already.
- When someone asks you to do something, you audibly sigh and mutter to yourself as you take way more time to do said task than it requires.
- Everything feels totally out of your control so you’ve started making lanyard ankle bracelets.
- No one understands you except your cat/dog/succulent.
- You stay up all night watching crap TV because you know you shouldn’t, but you keep the volume down so as not to get in trouble.
- You’ve started journaling.
- You send dumb messages to your friends every 15 minutes that only you find funny.
- You’ve been creating angsty playlists to cope with life.
- You change your clothes five times a day just because you can.
- You have bouts of unjustifiable hysteria that strike without warning.
- Everyone seems to be having a better time than you.
- Planning for the future seems totally unrealistic because it feels so far away.
1-21: 17 again
1-21: global pandemic
Ally Hirschlag is a writer from Brooklyn who lives with mild anxiety over what her cats are doing in the other room. You can find her work at Mic, Upworthy, Teen Vogue, and elsewhere. Follow her on Twitter @allyhirschlag.