Subscription Boxes to Help Make Your Passover Seder Manageable

Haggadah in a box

This box includes the popular 4 minute Seder guide for families who really are just celebrating to make their aging parents feel as if they did their job and giving your own kids some sort of reference point for the Jewish experience. (Mom, could you get off my back, I am not sending the kids to Hebrew School.)

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Plague in a box

All 12 plagues including an apology letter to your neighbor’s for God’s wrath. That’s embarrassing!

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Tears in a box

Included are your mom’s tears when she found out you dropped out of Law School so you could pursue “filmmaking”, and you thought this was going to be for the tears we shed as we remember we were slaves in Egypt.

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Gefilte fish in a box

Nobody wants this, yet here we are.

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4 questions in a box plus a bonus English version

Good thing your Bubbe isn’t here to see you doing the English version. She wouldn’t be angry but she would be disappointed.

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Afikomen in a box

You use the actual box and hide it in some random spot of your house where you won’t remember and before you know it everyone has given up and now you are forced to hand out money to the 14 kids at your house all the while your mom keeps reminding you that you don’t have that kind of money as a result of not becoming a lawyer.

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Wine in a box

Look, even wine in a fucking box is a step up from Manischewitz.

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Elijah’s cup in a box

Use the wine from the wine in a box to leave out for this ghostly visitor because he also doesn’t want to drink Manischewitz.

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Guilt in a box

This doesn’t need an explanation. Chag sameach everyone!