Surprise Guests of the 3rd 2016 Presidential Debate!

Today’s CNN report cited the guests invited to tonight debate by Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Both sides clearly trying to rattle the other. Trump has invited President Barack Obama’s Kenyan-born half-brother, Malik. Hillary Clinton will be joined at Wednesday’s debate by two well-known billionaires who are backing her campaign, Meg Whitman and Mark Cuban. However, those are just the boring guests. Here are the real surprises:


[Donald Trump]

Guy who kind of looks like Willie Ames if he were 92 years old and a woman

Armenian lady who uses a ventriloquist puppet to hypnotize snakes

Norangurel (lower demon from Hell, Lucifer unavailable, sends his best regards)

Veteran with severe dementia who won’t stop biting people and using the n word.

Bottle of formaldehyde containing lumpy Siamese twin remains.

Time-displaced Vanna White with futuristic explosives sewn into her abdomen


[Hillary Clinton]

Hillary Clinton impersonator who can break-dance

Guy who wrote an episode of Laverne & Shirley (editor’s correction: Laverne & Shirley fan fiction, with robots and full penetration)

The Time-Warner Cable operator that she chatted with for an hour and a half the other day.

Kong in a Thong (on loan from LaBare)

Third-Place winner of TGI Friday’s “World’s Wackiest Moustache” competition

One of those guys with a beard of bee’s, but he has regular seizures, so it’s very much an “edge of your seat” kind of deal.