I hope this email finds you well. I’m looking forward to collaborating with you on excavating a demon from my mortal soul. Unfortunately, I’m at full capacity this week and will be unable to accommodate this ritual in my schedule until midway through Q4. 

For those we are letting go, we will be offering generous severance packages including the souls of 10,000 babies and a gift card to Spencers Gifts, the official retail partner of hell.

And unlimited dead sticks. Today's cartoon by Vaughan Tomlinson.

The insatiable thirst of you lumbering, barely sentient beasts will never be quenched. Such is the nature of your dire species. But if you insist, a nice pitcher of ginades on the beach is lovely and refreshing.

DEVIL: While you’re taking my advice, I think it might be a good idea if you start keeping up a little more with your … [Devil waves his pitchfork around my head.] DEVIL: … situation. ME: My what? My dander? What does that have to do with the issue at hand? DEVIL: Forget I said anything.

Who's Bad? He's bad. Really, really bad. Today's cartoon by Kit Lively and David DeGrand.