Little Known Executive Privilege Rights
Free up-size from medium to large at most participating Wendy’s locations.
Jeans Day every Friday at the White House.
Free access to members of the Illuminati who are handy with plumbing issues, car battery jumps, etc.
Unlimited back-rubs from the vice-president.
Ability to see into the future, but only as it pertains to the winner of this season’s The Bachelor.
Getting to jump to the head of the line at the White House commissary.
Exclusive use of the two ply tissue in the White House restrooms.
Free subscription to the monthly AARP newsletter.
Automatic designation of “Shotgun!” whenever going on car trips with others.
Always gets to be the front segment of the human centipede.
Doesn’t have to wait half an hour after eating to get into the hot tub.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
