It’s too hot to leave your sex-doll in the car while you run into the convenience store.
Trump has changed color from orange to slightly darker orange.
The videos on YouPorn are all reruns.
Your dad spends most of his hours in your childhood tree house, staring at sunbathing neighbors.
The candies in the back of your windowless van are all soft and gooey.
All the ladies are wearing less clothing, allowing tantalizing peeks of cleavage and colostomy bags.
The seasonal aromas of barbecues and book burnings fill the weekend air.
More drive-by shootings at the public pool.
Detainee’s at the American border get to have a few ice cubes tossed into their trough of water.
The chlorine in the pool kills your crabs, allowing you to finally update your Tinder profile.
Your Nazi white-power haircut is at last seasonally appropriate.
- About the Author
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence