Make America Great Again Hat = victim of inbreeding and / or severe emotional abuse (add a bit of drool to your lower lip for extra effect).
Tattoos of everyone’s name that you’ve met over the past several hours = Pete Davidson
Military-grade poncho worn on a partly cloudy day = CNN field weather reporter.
Generic movie-star costume = sex offender.
Elderly family member with shingles on a leash = you’re now a zombie wrangler.
Liberal splash of expired English Leather cologne, vodka / deli meat breath = your Uncle Travis.
Pick at any bug bites or small cuts on your arms and face = voodoo doll between gigs
Shave back hair, glue together with glitter and place into a Ziploc bag = Etsy seller.
Nice pair of slacks and a shirt, plus tweed sports jacket = Charles Manson (not that one; the English teacher and father of three from Nebraska).
Professionally tailored tuxedo = Bizarro world Walmart customer.
Just out of hours-long dental appointment = President Trump speaking at rally through loosened dentures.
Ill-fitting My Little Pony t-shirt = Humanities professor on the weekend.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence