The New School Threat: Grizzly Bears
Sure guns in schools can do SOME bad things, but what’s the REAL threat to our nations youth? Grizzly Bears. We need to do more to prevent these Active Bear Situations (ABS) and thank goodness Trump Secretary of Education pick Betsy DeVos has brought this epidemic to light. But why stop at allowing guns to fight off these widespread bear attacks? We need…
Even More Ways To Protect Our Kids From Grizzly Bears In School
Hire grizzly bear hunters to teach all classes.
No more “Picnic Thursdays”.
Set bear traps underneath every child’s desk.
Cancel unimportant classes, like art, English and history, and replace with classes on killing grizzly bears.
Cardboard standees of our leader, President Donald Trump, on the perimeter of all schools, in order to intimidate and terrify the bears.
Teens no longer able to wear deodorants, perfumes, acne medications, and other items that could possibly attract bears.
Cancellation of all Future Beekeepers of America meetings.
Perimeter surrounding schools set ablaze each day; fires to be monitored by former border patrol guards.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
