Other Methods Of Keeping Trump In Line At The Debate

Due mainly to the disastrous initial Presidential debate earlier this year, the final debate this week is being set up with mute buttons for both participants (but, let’s be honest, mostly for Trump). What other emergency fail-safes could they be building into the process as well? Other Methods Of Keeping Trump In Line At The Debate…

Electronic anti-barking dog collar strapped tightly around his fat neck.

Stagehand frantically waving a double quarter-pounder with cheese from off camera if he begins to go on a maniacal tirade.

Ejector seat / catapult.

Group of ninjas in the rafters of the building, ready at a second’s notice to throw a ninja star or two into his ankles.

Superglue Chapstick.

Spiking his tanning spray / make-up with 1000 mg of Xanax.

Gigantic, vaudevillian hook from offstage.

COVID-infected bats trained to attack if his decibel level goes over a certain amount.