Other Methods Of Keeping Trump In Line At The Debate

Due mainly to the disastrous initial Presidential debate earlier this year, the final debate this week is being set up with mute buttons for both participants (but, let’s be honest, mostly for Trump). What other emergency fail-safes could they be building into the process as well? Other Methods Of Keeping Trump In Line At The Debate…

Electronic anti-barking dog collar strapped tightly around his fat neck.

Stagehand frantically waving a double quarter-pounder with cheese from off camera if he begins to go on a maniacal tirade.

Ejector seat / catapult.

Group of ninjas in the rafters of the building, ready at a second’s notice to throw a ninja star or two into his ankles.

Superglue Chapstick.

Spiking his tanning spray / make-up with 1000 mg of Xanax.

Gigantic, vaudevillian hook from offstage.

COVID-infected bats trained to attack if his decibel level goes over a certain amount.

by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence